Leaving the Shire

Update: 

• Many people have kindly asked how I am feeling after my first encounter with chemotherapy. Perhaps the best answer I can give is to say that I feel “strange” and “unpredictable”. There have been both good and rough moments with the side effects. Some days have been spent mostly in bed and others are punctuated with pockets of extreme weakness or bone pain. 
• I believe God has answered many prayers and my symptoms have been mild compared to what others have experienced. I still would not wish chemo upon anyone unless necessary. 
• Next week I will continue with another treatment as long as my blood cell counts are good and I am well. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

• My mouth sores have significantly reduced. This is a real blessing because those are quite unpleasant. Praise the Lord! 
• Please continue to pray the treatment kills the cancer throughout my body. 
• I have quickly learned that chemo comes with ups and downs. It really matters where you place your mind. Pray that whether I am in a low spot or a high spot – my eyes would look to Jesus afresh (Psalm 121). 

What I am Learning: 

• The reason God does not tell us the future is because he wants us to depend completely upon him.  

“In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider: God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.” Ecclesiastes 7:14

• God has sent cancer into my life for me to know him more deeply. I hate cancer, but it is a gift to expose the gaps of my faith and prompt me to seek the Lord. The most important thing is not that I would survive for another year, but that I would trust the Lord fully.

“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 1:13 

What has been Encouraging: 

• Almost every night, Jenny and I try to watch 10-15 minutes of The Lord of the Rings trilogy while I drink my protein shake. It is a great time. If you have read the book or watched the movies, you know the location of the Shire is a place we all long to dwell. It is simple, beautiful, and seemingly sheltered from the rest of the world. The grassy hills are lush green, and the birthday parties are next level. Suffering should not be happening in the Shire. 
• Most of my 33 years have been relatively free of physical suffering. I have certainly had trials, but nothing has been medically extreme. The cataclysmic power of cancer has forced me to leave the Shire and enter a journey that I didn’t want and wouldn’t choose. I am now on a path of suffering seeking to throw cancer into the lava of Mordor. 
• But I am not on this path alone. I have the Lord and he has given a fellowship of friends who are on this journey with me. I alone must receive the treatments, but I don’t feel alone. I know you are praying for me. Jenny and I have felt your care and kindness. Your thoughtfulness is a true blessing from the loving hand of Christ to us. Thank you.