We believe that the Bible, not us, is a sufficient source of marriage advice. That means that age and experience are important, but the helpfulness of any marriage advice should be determined by how faithfully it reflects God’s Word—not whether or not it comes from someone who has been married for a long time. You can have wrinkles and yet no wisdom, and you can also be young and have lots of it. God’s Word is what makes the difference (see Ps. 119:99–101)
Our goal in this book is not to point you to ourselves, our experience, or our advice. Our goal is to point you away from ourselves and to the only source of real help: Jesus Christ as he is revealed in Scripture.
We wrote this book on the first years of marriage with the later years of marriage also in view. These years are deeply influential.
The way you talk and think about sex and children and money and conflict now influences the way you’ll be talking about these things on your thirtieth anniversary. We want those conversations to be shaped by Scripture and conformed to Christ.
Our prayer is that, as you read, you will hear the familiar words of the person who is most qualified to talk about marriage—Jesus Christ (who never married)—and will forget all about us. And we also pray that, as we all listen to him, our marriages would look more and more Christlike during the first years and every year that follows.
The First Years of Marriage is available at P&R, Faith Bookstore, WTS, and Amazon.
Both dating and engagement are thrilling and complex. They come with delights and disorientation. That’s why couples need God’s Word to maneuver through the various aspects of romance. But God doesn’t just have helpful tips on romance. He says the most important things about all those questions popping into your head.
We wrote these imperfect books to point you to the perfect Book that has relevant and practical things to say about those nagging questions on the road of romance. When your heart flutters with attraction, when your meet your future in-laws, and when you plan your wedding night, God wants to be at the center of it all. We pray these letters will encourage you throughout your journey.
Books are available for purchase through P&R Publishing, Amazon, Christian Book, and other book retailers.
Endorsements
“In these two books on dating and engagement Sean Perron and Spencer have given to us a treasure trove of biblically based practical information for all unmarried Christians…. Personally as a Biblical counsellor and pastor since 1957 I am very grateful to God for giving Sean and Spencer the desire and ability to write these two books. They contain information that I wish had been available for me to give to Christians as they thought about dating or engagement. I will certainly have them at the ready to give to Christians who need biblically based answers to the plethora of relevant issues that godly people who are thinkers will have.”
– Wayne Mack, Director and Professor at Strengthening Ministries Training Institute in Pretoria, South Africa, Preparing for Marriage God’s Way
Sean Perron and Spencer Harmon are full of wise, gospel-centered counsel on navigating through singleness, dating, and engagement. Whatever your season of life, you will find yourself better equipped to guide others and to strengthen your own faith by reading these books.
– Russell Moore, President of the Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention
“There’s nothing easy about dating or getting engaged. I lurched through the process like most people — fearful, fumbling, and full of doubt. If only Sean and Spencer had written this book fifty years ago! But here it is just in time for you! Make a date with this book before booking a date. The Bible’s advice is never dated for those engaged in its teachings.”
– Robert J. Morgan, Teaching Pastor of the Donelson Fellowship in Nashville, TN, Then Sings My Soul, The Strength You Need
Letters to a Romantic: On Dating and On Engagement are wonderful guides written by two young men who have a lot of biblical wisdom. Each letter is engaging and very informative. In fact, they are so good that I have five young adults in mind to give them to. Perron and Harmon have done an exceptional job.
– Martha Peace, Association of Certified Biblical Counselors, The Excellent Wife and Damsels in Distress
“From romanticism, to break ups, to the issue of sexuality and singleness, Sean and Spencer provide us with a significant, Biblical word for the areas of dating and engagement. No two areas are more ignored and yet more in need of a clear, concise word from God. These Biblical counselors, with rare insight and discernment lead you through the spiritual steps that will result in healthy, God honoring, deepening relationships.”
These books contain the kind of wise biblical advice an older brother or mentor would offer to a young person who is seeking to navigate the waters of romance and engagement. The format (short letters) makes the book very easy(and fun) to read. Practical answers are given to the questions young people are most likely to raise.
– Jim Newheiser, Director of the Christian Counseling Program, Associate Professor of Practical Theology at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte NC, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage
“Sean and Spencer are two old souls. They have a remarkable amount of wisdom to offer on these topics, a wisdom well beyond their years. I whole heartedly recommend anything these two godly men, exemplary husbands, and exceptional leaders, have to say about how they met their wives, honored them through courtship to marriage, and now lead and love them in the way of Christ.”
– Dan DeWitt, Director of the Center for Biblical Apologetics & Public Christianity at Cedarville University, Jesus or Nothing, Christ or Chaos
On Dating
“If you want rock-solid biblical guidance on dating, read this book. If you want to think wisely and practically about how to handle a first date, parents, breaking up, pornography, kissing, past sexual history, or declining a date, read this book. If you want to honor Christ with your dating relationships, read this book. I can’t wait to put Letters to a Romantic: On Dating into the hands of singles in my church!”
– Deepak Reju, Pastor of Biblical Counseling and Family Ministry, Capitol Hill Baptist Church (Washington, DC), On Guard and The Pastor and Counseling
Authors and friends, Sean Perron and Spencer Harmon have written a most helpful book on dating. Don’t let the short chapters fool you–this book is packed with biblical wisdom for a journey where we need it most. On a topic where some might veer either into sentimentality, self-help or legalism, Perron and Harmon strike a gracious and biblical tone throughout their work. Their initial thesis, that we must glorify God in our dating and romance, is well-supported and shines throughout the book. As I read the chapters I kept thinking to myself, “I wonder if they will address this or that,” and inevitably I was not disappointed. I’m amazed at how much ground is covered with such wisdom and clarity. Whether you agree with some of their conclusions or not, you will undoubtedly hear Sean and Spencer’s heart for God and his glory even in things as ordinary as romance and dating.
– Jonathan Holmes, Pastor of Counseling, Parkside Church, The Company We Keep: In Search of Biblical Friendship
“Christian men and women who are seeking to understand how to make godly decisions concerning dating need to carefully study the wisdom of this book. Far too often little thought is given to biblical direction concerning personal decisions about dating the opposite sex. Many think that since the Bible does not mention the idea of dating than it is silent about the topic, but nothing is further from the truth. You will be surprise concerning the practical wisdom this book give. We highly recommend it to you.”
– John D. Street and Janie L. Street, Chair of the Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling and Professor at the Master’s University, Men Counseling Men, Women Counseling Women
Wow! What a needed resource for single men and women. Dating can be one of the most confusing times in a single person’s life and we desperately need solid biblical guidance in this area. Thank you Sean and Spencer for giving us this incredibly practical and biblical book on dating. We highly recommend it!
– Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird, founders of Girl Defined Ministries, Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty Femininity and Identity
“Love in our modern age seems so shapeless and formless. Love is whatever you make it and want it to be, we commonly hear. But love actually has form and shape, for God has given it us to glorify and point to himself. In this easy-to-read book, Sean and Spencer give terrific counsel on dating. Their words are wise, fired with passion, and biblically faithful. Those confused and even broken by our anything-goes era will find here a gospel-shaped path to ordered love, love as God ordains it.”
– Owen Strachan, Associate Professor of Christian Theology, Midwestern Seminary, Risky Gospel, The Grand Design: Male and Female He Made Them
On Engagement
Engagement is an exhilarating step towards the unknown with someone you’re still getting to know. Where can a couple get wise counsel for a season that ricochets, almost daily, between sparkling anticipation and disorienting discussion? The answer is two guys and a book – the very one in your hands! Pull up a chair and spend a few hours with Sean and Spencer. You will come away packed with fresh faith, enriched by practical insights, and uniquely prepared for the magnificent journey towards marriage!
– Dave Harvey, Executive Director of Sojourn Network and Founder of AmICalled.com, When Sinners Say I Do
“Too often, we focus a ton on dating and little on engagement. But the season of engagement is an opportunity for preparation, joy, and evident holiness. In this short and readable book, Sean and Spencer walk the reader through a scripturally faithful approach to this unique season. All around us people want nothing more than fleeting romance and a little fun; this book will help you to build something grander and greater, a six-decade marriage, a union that testifies to the world of a greater love and a greater God.”
– Owen Strachan, Associate Professor of Christian Theology, Midwestern Seminary, Risky Gospel, The Grand Design: Male and Female He Made Them
Sean Perron and Spencer Harmon have written a very practical book for engaged couples, or perhaps just as important, for parents and pastors providing counsel and direction to engaged couples. In words that are perhaps not often used with premarital materials, here is a lot of horse sense on often neglected topics. I commend it to you.
– Douglas Wilson, Minister, Christ Church, Reforming Marriage, Father Hunger
Unspoken 