Author: unspokenblog

Some Clarification and Suggestions from a Theology of Biblical Counseling

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Post by Sean Perron
Yesterday I read David Murray’s blog post. Murray graciously asked for replies to his blog post and I hope these quotes are helpful.
Below are some of my suggestions and also some clarifications from Dr. Heath Lambert’s book A Theology of Biblical Counseling. My main suggestion is that Murray should have read the entirety of Lambert’s book before writing his post.
Murray Question 1: “Is there any revelation outside the Bible?”
Has God revealed any truth about these topics (information about obesity, nutrition, fetal alcohol syndrome, etc.) outside the Bible?
Lambert’s clarification: 
Rich Resources Outside Scripture
Some believe that embrace of the sufficiency of Scripture for counseling necessarily entails rejection of true information outside of the Bible. This is a fairly common objection to the kind of biblical sufficiency that I am discussing here…
…From the very beginning of the biblical counseling movement, leaders have made clear their belief in the legitimacy of sources of information outside of Scripture. Biblical counselors do not ignore or outright reject extra-biblical sources or counseling insights. In fact, I would argue that biblical counselors have demonstrated a high level of theological sophistication about the use of extra-biblical data, often greater than our brothers to the theological left. The biblical counseling position is that there is much true information that exists outside the Bible—that found in the sciences, for example. (53-54)
Murray’s Suggested Clarification: 
“Without the qualification of ‘special revelation’ (or spiritual truth), I think we risk being understood as saying that there is no general revelation, no truth, outside of Scripture on any topic.”
One of Lambert’s printed clarification in chapter two: 
The call to be compassionate counselors requires that a thoroughgoing theology of biblical counseling must not only address the sufficient resources for counseling within Scripture but must also address the relevance of resources that exist outside of Scripture. This is an issue that has the highest practical and personal implications for counselors. We must consider this matter very carefully if we are to be compassionate. Considering the matter in this way requires that we understand the doctrine of common grace. (66-67)
I began this chapter on the resources for counseling outside Scripture by asking what is necessary to help Rick, Wendy, Gail, Trenyan, Jenny, Scott, Drew, Amber, Sean, and Sarah. To answer that question, we examined common grace and saw that, indeed, God does allow unbelievers to come to know true principles that are helpful in counseling. (100)
The quotes that answer this question are too numerous for me to reproduce in this post.
I also want to point Murray and readers to
Appendix A: Statement from the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors  Regarding Mental Disorders, Medicine, and Counseling

Appendix B: Biblical Counseling, General Revelation, and Common Grace

Murray writes: “I’m hopeful that Heath will go on to add such qualifications in subsequent chapters, but it’s unqualified generalizations like these that confuse people and have created justifiable resistance to the biblical counseling movement over the years. With just a couple of extra words, the potential confusion is avoided and understandable reasons to resist are removed.”
My Suggestion for Murray’s Post:
I’m hopeful that Murray will go on to add such qualifications in subsequent blog posts, but it’s blog posts like his review of first chapter of Lambert’s book that confuse people and have created resistance to the biblical counseling movement over the years. By waiting just a couple of extra pages, the potential confusion is avoided and reasons to resist are removed. I wish Murray had refrained from blogging before he finished A Theology of Biblical Counseling.
What Counseling Requires 
Murray’s Question 2: “Does ‘problems’ here mean all problems (such as autism, or those Heath mentioned earlier – employment problems or choosing a college)?”
One Quote of Lambert’s Clarification: 
Biblical counselors shall encourage the use of physical examinations and testing by physicians for diagnosis of medical problems, the treatment of these problems, and the relief of symptoms, which might cause, contribute to, or complicate counseling issues. (324)
Murray’s Question 3: “Is God’s prescribed solution (singular) to our problems (plural) always simply ‘faith in Christ’?”
One Quote of Lambert’s Clarification:
Biblical counselors shall encourage the use of physical examinations and testing by physicians for diagnosis of medical problems, the treatment of these problems, and the relief of symptoms, which might cause, contribute to, or complicate counseling issues. (324)
Murray’s Question 4: “Is this the only solution to all our problems?”
One Quote with Lambert’s Clarification:
Biblical counselors shall encourage the use of physical examinations and testing by physicians for diagnosis of medical problems, the treatment of these problems, and the relief of symptoms, which might cause, contribute to, or complicate counseling issues. (324)
My Suggestion: Murray may consider being slow to blog and quick to read. Murray may consider if he is answering a matter before he hears all of the facts. I also pray that Murray would be more open to changing his position on counseling.
Other Minor Suggestions: 
  • Murray suggests Lambert should use the word “necessitates” instead of “requires.” We should not quibble over words that mean the same thing. Requires and necessitates are the same thing. These words are synonymous.
I close with this quote from Murray which I apply to this post and my suggestions:
I offer these questions and clarifications in the spirit of iron sharpening iron (Prov. 27:17), and in the hope that my biblical counseling colleagues will see the need for much greater clarity, carefulness, and consistency, if we are to have a hope of building the credibility of our discipline and expanding the availability and usefulness of biblical counseling throughout the world. I’m looking forward to learning from any responses to the questions, further questions to me, and hopefully clearer and more consistent definitions at the foundational level. If I have misunderstood or misrepresented anything, please let me know as this was not my intention.
Sean Perron

Four Years Later: 25 Reasons

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by Sean Perron
Four years ago I wrote out a list of 25 reasons why I was thrilled to marry Jennifer Whiteaker. This year I wanted to revise the list.
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Marrying Jenny is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She stunned me with her life and love four years ago and that has only continued.
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Here are just a few of the reasons why I love you Jenny Perron: 
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  1. You desire to be found faithful before God
  2. Your submission is a sweet aroma
  3. You squeeze me tightly and hold me loosely
  4. You hide yourself in the shadow of God
  5. Your Spirit is lovely beyond compare
  6. You smirk at the storms ahead
  7. You are planted by streams of water and bloom in every season
  8. Your joy is brighter than a tulip farm and your stem is strong to serve the world his beauty
  9. You are radiant and reverent in your worship
  10. Adventure is your middle name… and your first name… and now your last name
  11. Your brown eyes are unparalleled in beauty
  12. You are confident in his image
  13. You care about the rights of all who are destitute
  14. You open your mouth for the mute
  15. You open your hand to the poor
  16. You inherit the earth
  17. Your heart is soft to conviction and committed to a clear conscience
  18. You call evil evil and good good
  19. Your well is filled with songs, hymns, and spiritual hums
  20. Your gold is giving
  21. People want more of your pleasant presence
  22. Thoughtfulness flows from you like a waterfall
  23. Your smile has a domino effect
  24. You pray more than there are minutes in an hour
  25. Your hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness

Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing: Cultivating Joy In Singleness

by Spencer Harmon
by Spencer Harmon

Marriage celebrations aren’t always joyful.  

There are certainly those overflowing with joy:  the older couple reminiscing on their wedding joy, the newly engaged couple dreaming of their own wedding day, the parents of the bride and groom beaming with pride.  However, marriage celebrations can also be painful reminders of a persistent suffering – the suffering of singleness.  To be sure, there are singles who are not suffering.  They are content with their season of life, enjoying the freedom that singleness brings.  For others, however, singleness is a burden that they struggle to carry.  They long for the companionship of a spouse, to come home to a friend,  and the intimacy of love.  

You may know exactly what I’m talking about.  You enjoy weddings, engagement parties, and celebrating the excitement of matrimony with friends.  Yet, there is a tinge of pain – perhaps felt on the drive home or as you hear another couple make vows – that reverberates in your heart.  You long to rejoice with your friends, but struggle with this unmet desire.  

On top of this, you hear the call of the Bible to rejoice with those who rejoice, but your heart does not feel it.  How am I supposed to rejoice while suffering?  Can this sorrow and joy exist within the same heart?

The Composite Joy of the Body of Christ

If we are honest, many of us hear the call to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15) as a call to force a crooked smile on your face at an engagement party.  We think: “Good for them!”, and may genuinely mean it.  However, the dominant tone of our hearts is a deep groan of “How long, O Lord?”

But rejoicing with those who rejoice is not like a forced smile on a family photo.  It is an ownership of the joy of another because it sees God at work.  The joy you are called to experience at your friend’s’ engagement party or marriage ceremony is not some blind naivete  that ignores your own desires to be married.  Instead, it is a celebration of God’s good plans in the life of someone who is deeply connected to you.

This means that your joy is meant to be a composite joy. The joy of the Christian is equally composed of the work of God in their own life and the work of God in the lives of fellow Christians.  This is what Paul means when he writes that “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:26).  The joy of the Christian is a many-membered tapestry that interweaves the threads of our lives with one another.

So then, the engagement party or marriage ceremony of your friend is actually an opportunity to experience real, warm-hearted joy.  Most of the time when we find it difficult to celebrate with another Christian, it is not because it is not possible.  Rather, it’s because we are not willing to experience joy in this way.  We limit the potential moments of rejoicing in our lives to those times when things align to our preferences.  The world transforms into the size of a clenched fist that holds its plans, rather than the big world where our happy God is busy blessing his children (Jeremiah 32:41).

How do you see other believers?  Are they only a catalyst of despair anytime they get something you don’t have?  Or are they a member of the same body as you so that their joy is your joy?  Are you soaking yourself in the picture of the church as your family so that the metaphor becomes reality?  The key to rejoicing with those who rejoice is to see the victories of others as your own.

Joy and Sorrow Under the Same Roof

But most of us are not dominated by only despair at the engagement party or marriage ceremony.  Instead, we often experience a tangled web of rejoicing and sorrow, pleasure and frustration, contentment and restlessness.  We rejoice to see God at work, but the desire for marriage aches like a tender bruise being pressed.  This isn’t selfishness – it’s a reminder of a unwanted suffering.

Singles often experience unnecessary guilt because they don’t understand the idea of earnest waiting.  Earnest waiting happens when the truths of God’s sovereignty and our responsibility meet in some suffering in our lives.  When Christians suffer, two responses are to exist in their hearts.  First, they are to wait on the Lord.  The posture of our hearts is to be one of a weaned child trusting its parent (Ps. 131:2).  We are to not take matters into our own hands, but hope fully in our God (Psalm 37:34, 62:5, Proverbs 20:22).  For many Christian singles, this is the primary battleground.  However, Christians are also to be persistent with the Lord.  A wrong application of the sovereignty of God is to assume that we are not to pray for relief from suffering.  Although the heroes of our faith trusted God, Hannah prayed for a child (1 Samuel 1:9-18), the church in Acts prayed for Peter to be released from prison (Acts 12:5), and Jesus honors the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8).

It is not sinful to feel the sting of unwanted singleness at a marriage ceremony.  It is sinful to allow this sting to translate into a grumbling heart towards the Lord and others.  You can be sorrowful and yet rejoice at the same time.  You cannot grumble and rejoice at the same time.  Do your sorrows roll up into prayer toward the God who knows your needs?  Or do your sorrow’s knot up your soul with a complaining heart?

Sorrowful, Yet Always Rejoicing

The pendulum could currently be swinging to either extreme for you.  You may be sorrowful, rejoicing, or both.  Either way, God calls you to take steps of faith now.  Are you sorrowful?  Call on friends to partner with you in your prayer for a spouse and for a heart that waits on the Lord.  Are you rejoicing?  Cultivate a lifestyle that loses itself in the joy of others.  Go all out to celebrate the work of God in the lives of others through attending parties, serving on the day of the wedding, and giving your life away for the good of others.  In other words: live the Christian life – weeping and laughing, repenting and believing, grateful while groaning.

These truths are not to be exclusively applied to singleness and marriage.  The Christian life is full of trials, and yet we are called to rejoice in them (1 Peter 4:12-13).  We are not called to merely rejoice with those who rejoice; we are called to rejoice in God (Habakkuk 3:18, Philippians 4:4).  This rejoicing in God is the bedrock to rejoicing with others.  In singleness, and a million other sufferings, our hearts must be confident that he does not withhold good things from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).

 

The content for this post has been expanded into Letters to a Romantic: On Engagement which will be released in 2017 by P&R Publishing. 

Young Romantic: Complement One Another

by Sean Perron
by Sean Perron

Dear Young Romantic,

On a personal note, I don’t need to remind you that there is very little reason for my wife to be thrilled about me. I’m not all that and a bag of chips. Yet to my wife, my smallest accomplishments earn the same applause as if I was awarded a nobel peace prize. If I fix a bolt on an old piece of furniture, I’m MacGyver. If I make a layup on the court while competing against the 9 year olds we babysit, I’m Michael Jordan. If I demolish a wasp nest, I surpass Tom Cruise. She bubbles over with enthusiasm for whatever my hand finds to do.

But she is more than a cheerleader. She is an essential part of my life and ministry. Jenny is my sister in Christ just as much as she is my wife. There have been many wonderful times when her gentle rebuke has set me back on course. I can’t tell you how many times she has encouraged me in the faith and held up my weary hands.

And if that wasn’t enough, she blossoms beautifully in submission. If I tell Jenny we are going to move to another state and start a ministry from the ground up, she will be in-it-to-win-it. She will have questions, she will want to know what our pastors think, but she will submit to my leadership. She is a helper extraordinaire.

Why do I say all this? Because my wife rejoices in her God given role as my wife. She is not oppressed. Jenny loves being a woman. She is thrilled to be a helpmate. She is humble, submissive, gentle, compassionate, and lives in obedience to God. The reason she thinks I’m awesome is not because I am. She thinks I’m the best husband in the world because she is the best wife in the world. If you looking for me to explain this in theological terms, my wife is a complementarian to the core and she couldn’t be happier.

Mansions to Decorate

God has given men and women different roles in marriage. We are both equal and beautiful in God’s image and yet we have different functions. The man is called to lead, guide, and protect his wife. The woman is called the honor, submit, and follow her husband.

The roles God designed for us are not prisons to escape from, but mansions to decorate. God’s roles for men and women are not putrid veggies to swallow; they are the choicest meats to feast upon. God created us to flourish and thrive in the gender role he sovereignly bestowed upon us.

The husband is not to be a dictator or tyrant. Men are called to be like Jesus – and Jesus is a shepherd (Psalm 23:1). Shepherds don’t beat their sheep. They protect them from wolves and clean them from the thistles. Shepherds care for their flocks and lead them beside still waters. Husbands are to wash their wives through the water of the Word and pursue them with goodness and mercy all the days of their life (Ephesians 5:26).  

Biblical headship is a weighty responsibility. In Ephesians 5:25, a husband is called to love like Christ. This tall order should cause husbands to humbly tremble before the holy God of the gospel. Husbands are called to lay down their lives, their preferences, their wishes, and their selfish ambitions for their bride. Jesus lived out this love and proved John 15:13 true. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

How can this look practically?

A husband and wife will discuss and dialogue about all kinds of decisions during a typical week. Most of the decisions we make on a daily basis are preference choices. In these types of choices, Christians are called to consider others above themselves (Philippians 2:3). If your spouse wants to eat at home this week, why not? If they want to watch a movie instead of read a book, why not? If they want to take the interstate instead of the back roads, why not? Our preferences are not the precepts of the Lord. The goal is to outdo one another in kindness. Love leads with sacrifice and this produces a joyful home.

There are also significant decisions that shape the course of a family such as jobs, churches, family crisis, etc. The husband is to lead by listening. It is important for the husband to truly understand his wife and consider any disagreements she may have. The channels of conversation and prayer must be open and cleared of any sin. “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)

After all the issues are lovingly addressed, the husband has the final call in the matter. The wife is called to submit to the leadership of her husband and trust that God has given him the authority and wisdom of the home. “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” (Ephesians 5:24)

Biblical submission is a relieving reality for a wife. A wife must believe that God has given her husband authority to lead the home and she can submit to him. She can experience relief and safety as she submits in faith. The pressure is off. This is a mysterious experience that causes the world to gasp and look at the glorious picture of Christ and his bride.  

Being a complementarian couple affects everything you do in life. When Jenny and I were engaged, our counselors wisely encouraged us to go ahead and determine which of us would typically be responsible for everyday life tasks. Who is going to do the dishes in the home? Who is going to take out the trash? Who is going to cut the yard? Who is going to catalogue the finances? Who is going to make dinner?  

A husband and wife are each other’s highest compliment, but don’t wait until marriage to begin cultivating these characteristics. Learn to lead and submit in the season of engagement.

Future husbands, gently protect your future bride from all the unnecessary demands and expectations placed on her during this busy season. Give up any silly preferences you have for the wedding and honeymoon. Seek to serve and don’t be detached from the planning. Leaders are engaged and selfless. Ask yourself, where can you tenderly lead?

Future wives, humbly allow your groom to take the lead in decision making. Voice your opinions in a way that respects him and speaks the truth in love. Trust his judgement and free yourself from the pressure of making the final call. Ask yourself, where can you lovingly submit?

My wife was complementarian before we got married. She was blooming beautifully then and is flourishing now. I can’t get enough of her. It is my prayer, as a couple, your headship and submission would stir your affections for each other and attract people to the God of this glorious gospel.

Are you ready to rejoice in your gender for God’s glory? Do you complement each other?

The content for this post has been expanded into Letters to a Romantic: On Engagement which will be released in 2017 by P&R Publishing. 

Explore The Garden: Kindling Affection While Dating

by Spencer Harmon
by Spencer Harmon

Dating is a complicated dance.  Especially when you are trying to avoid sin.    

For Christians, dating pulls you in two opposite directions.  First, you experience the tug of your affection for your significant other.  You spend more time together, and your heart swells with warmth and care.  You rejoice in the presence of your significant other, and, naturally, you want to express that joy.  In addition, because God created you as an embodied person you usually expresses your emotions physically:  You hug the people you love, you cry over losses, you eat the food you want, and sometimes you even jump with joy.  You have a body.  You were made for this.  

Enter the second (and opposite) tug.  

Although your heart swells with love and you desire to show your love physically, you also feel the tug of biblical truth.  Even though God gave you a body, he wants you to control it (1 Thessalonians 4:4), he didn’t make it for sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:13), he wants you to flee immorality at all costs (1 Corinthians 6:18), and he wants you to keep the marriage bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).  Although you feel the pull of the desire to express your affection physically, you are pulled in the opposite direction by God’s word.  

Many single Christians live within the tension of these seemingly opposing desires.  To add to the confusion, when Christians talk about affection during dating, we typically talk about it in negative terms.  “Don’t be alone in the car”, “Don’t kiss each other”, “Don’t touch her there”  Although these specific prohibitions are important , they are not the full story.  

Outside of knowing what not to do, is there a way forward?  How do you kindle appropriate affection in your relationship while honoring God with your body?

Transform How You Think About Boundaries

The temptation of the serpent in the Garden succeeded by blurring the purpose of boundaries.  Why are you not allowed to eat of the tree in the Garden?  Because God doesn’t want you to grow in your knowledge, and he’s holding things back from you (Genesis 3:5).  The first couple were convinced by the serpent that their God given boundaries were not given to them for life (Genesis 2:17) and so they broke them.  This insidious lie took root in their hearts, and the curse pulsated through the world.  

How do God’s righteous boundaries sit in your heart?  Are they a pointless burden meant to keep you in line? Or are they lamps that light the path to life?  But even more specifically, how are you thinking about the boundaries of your relationship?  Do you think of them as a burdensome prerequisite class of purity before the elective of marital intimacy?  This is that ancient lie of the serpent that plunged our race into the dark waters of the curse.

The best way to combat the lie of the serpent, is to renew your mind with God’s good purposes for your relationship.  When you discuss your boundaries with your significant other, talk about them as a means to store up pleasure, rather than a temporary misery that must be endured.  Not: “We can’t do this together because the Bible says we can’t”; but: “We choose to save this to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage”  

To be sure, the call to purity will be difficult.  However, comfort and joy are found when we view our difficulties through the lens of God’s good purposes and promises for us as his children.  This starts in your heart.  Meditate on the goodness of God’s purpose behind your boundaries.  You’re storing up pleasure for later.  Very soon, you will experience God’s good gifts in God’s good time under God’s good smile.  Transform your thinking.

Patterns Become Permanent

Although intimacy is a vital part of marriage, it is a relatively small part when compared to the various aspects of your relationship with your spouse.  So much of marriage happens outside of the marriage bed.  So during this time, when this fruit of marriage is forbidden, explore the other trees in the garden.  The memories you make now, the habits you are cultivating, the relationships you pursue – all of them are patterns that will affect the fragrance of your marriage.

Some couples miss the wonderful “yes’s” of their current season because they are so focused on the “no’s” of their relationship.  When we are convinced that the only way to show affection is through physical intimacy we never see the potential for love in the other areas of life:  Long walks, road trips, serving saints in your church, eating with friends, adventuring through your city, asking questions.  These habits of pursuing one another outside the marriage bed will become patterns in your relationship.  Furthermore, they will serve to bind your hearts together through shared experiences and memories.  Make patterns now while you wait for intimacy.

Trust The Divine Sequence

In fact, the patterns you create while waiting for intimacy will actually improve your marital intimacy.  The joy of the bride and groom in the Song of Solomon is a symphony of emotional, physical, and relational delight.  They experience the security of belonging (Song 6:3), the joy of friendship (Song 5:16), and the intensity of physical intimacy (Song 4).  The poem is composed of all these elements.  This is the divine sequence.

It makes more sense to touch each others’ hearts before you touch each others’ bodies.  The sweetness of the wedding night – the reason why they call it consummation – is found when it is the rightful climax to a million shared moments, memories, joys, sorrows, conversations, experiences, and adventures.  And when you do finally touch each other, you will find that you are participating in a divine sequence – one that compounds your joy and intensifies your pleasure.   

Deep Roots

In this season of pursuing the heart rather than touching the body you are nurturing deep roots.  If God blesses your relationship with marriage you will discover that your friendship and intimacy are weaved together. The cultivation of friendship solidifies the foundation of your marriage.  So, don’t lose sight of the beauty of the garden because you are obsessed with the forbidden tree.  Explore, cultivate, and adventure in the current stage you are in.  Soon you will find that the exploration never ends.

The content for this post has been expanded into Letters to a Romantic: On Dating which will be released in 2017 by P&R Publishing. 

The Insanity of Abortion

by Andrew King
by Andrew King

At this point, you have likely seen the nightmare that looms behind the placid language of the abortion industry. While Planned Parenthood says that during your procedure “medical instruments and a suction machine gently empty your uterus,” viewers of this week’s undercover video saw arms and lungs. There is now no escaping the violence of abortion; but then again, there never was. Interestingly, many are running to the aid of Planned Parenthood’s tarnished image. “Misunderstood,” they say. “Deceptive editing,” they cry, as though smoke and mirrors were responsible for the limbs on the tray. Nothing could be further from the truth. Human beings have human hearts. And we must not forget that that is exactly what is at stake.

Yet the insanity of abortion is not just in the desperate attempts of Planned Parenthood to save face. We should expect those who love the darkness to fight to keep the light at bay. Indeed, the insanity of abortion is that followers of Jesus Christ are so deafeningly silent. What is almost unthinkable is that those who have experienced new life in Christ would not speak when God’s glorious work of creation is undone. Sure, evangelicals have taken to social media in protest. I will be the first to proclaim my deep gratitude for those who will not let this occasion be just another flash in the pan. But a merely digital pro-life position is really no gospel pro-life position at all. The silence I have in mind is not in the public eye, but that which is heard in front of the EMW Surgical Center in Louisville, Kentucky.

If you drive down West Market street on a Saturday morning, you may be caught off guard by the large crowd lining a particular stretch of sidewalk. With a momentary glance you would probably see signs that say, “Choose Life” and “Women Regret Abortion.” You would most likely hear people talking about free maternity homes and scholarships. You would definitely hear voices of pro-choicers protesting the pro-life protesters. But if you listen very closely, amidst all the noise, you may hear a faint voice pleading, “be reconciled to God.”

The evangelical presence outside this abortion clinic is meager at best. It is certainly not for a lack of effort. I have emailed every evangelical pastor in this city to request the help of local churches. Some have responded; most have not. Those who do respond typically express a great deal of hesitancy. After all, actually going down to an abortion clinic is a little extreme, isn’t it? I am forced to ask why someone so bold on their blog would hesitate to join brothers and sisters on the sidewalk where the rubber meets the road?

“I don’t know what I would say,” they respond. Brother, the Spirit gives timely words. “Does it ever get hostile?” they ask. Sure, especially for the image-bearer whose life will be snuffed out in secret. “Our church just has too many programs,” one man said. Brother, you need to repent. The clear command of the text is to open your mouth for the mute (Proverbs 31:8) and expose shameful things done in darkness (Ephesians 5:11-12). And yet, our silence is deafening. As a means of bringing the gospel to bear on this issue, our own testimonies remind us that our God is deeply committed to life. This truth necessitates our voice in these dark and shameful places.

For a believer, speaking for life need not be a difficult task. Many have expressed interest in doing more, but simply do not know where to start. The good news is that you do not have to reinvent the wheel. I direct a ministry called Speak for the Unborn (S4U) that seeks to do this very thing. We have resources available to equip local churches to start gospel-centered, Christ-exalting, compassionate sidewalk counseling ministries in their own cities. While situations differ from place to place, the framework we provide is applicable to a spectrum of contexts.

Christians can no longer hide from the horrific reality of abortion. Francis Shaeffer once said that “every abortion clinic should have a sign in front of it saying, ‘Open by the permission of the church.’” This is true, but need not be our story. The Church of Jesus Christ has been given a commission to be his ambassadors. We must go where the hurting are, and where the hurting are harming their children. While you are sleeping in, women up the road are assaulted by the lies of a Devil who is hell-bent on destruction. Whether abortion drives these women to despair or makes them feel empowered, a forked-tongue never means well. Yet by our silence, we are entrusting these women to his care.

So how will you respond to the insanity? Silence? Apathy? Excuses? Fear? You would do well, believer, to remember that you have not been given a spirit of fear, but the third person of a trinity that drives out darkness. Do not leave the work for someone else; for someone who is “cut out” for this kind of ministry. Trust me, no one is cut out for it. Fortunately, you have a Christ who is. He is able to strengthen your weak knees to compassionately walk next to a women whose child is being led away to death. He is able to sustain a Speak for the Unborn ministry in your church. He is able to give you creative ways to serve abortion-minded women in your city. But never again can you say, “behold, we did not know this” (Proverbs 24:11). Passivity is not an option when children are stumbling to the slaughter next door.

Severed Heads, Silence, and Selecting a Political Candidate

by Sean Perron
by Sean Perron

Previously, we highlighted how abortion was the scarlet letter of our day. We fully believe that Jesus extends love and forgiveness to those who have had an abortion. We are also convinced that Jesus can forgive the abortionists who were in the recent viral videos about Planned Parenthood. These beliefs, however, should not keep us from praying that Planned Parenthood shuts down. In light of the recent videos, I have an unspoken topic that needs to be addressed. I believe Christians should speak up for the unborn and leave the Democratic Party. I know that there will be some who read that last statement and frown because I’m getting involved with politics. I request that those who feel uncomfortable hear me out.

I am not saying: it has always been a sin to vote democrat. I’m also not saying that Republican equals Christian or the GOP is saintly, blameless, or even… worthy of praise.  I am not saying that Republicans get everything right and the Democrats get everything wrong. No.

I am saying: the current Democratic Party should not get a Christian’s vote. Only the politicians who believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of existence for all people should get the Christian vote. This transcends politics. Life and death are hanging in the balance at the voting booth. The official stance of the Democratic Party is pro-abortion. Their website states: “The Democratic Party strongly and unequivocally supports Roe v. Wade and a woman’s right to make decisions regarding her pregnancy, including a safe and legal abortion, regardless of ability to pay. We oppose any and all efforts to weaken or undermine that right.” (Emphasis Mine)

You can verify this for yourself, but sadly I doubt that is necessary. We need only ask the following questions about the 2016 election:

1)   Has a single democratic candidate spoken out against the butchering at the hands of Planned Parenthood? I can’t name one.

2)   Have the democratic candidates supported Planned Parenthood favorably in the past? A resounding yes. In fact, several have come out in defense of Planned Parenthood since the viral videos. Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi are being true to their party which firmly asserts “We oppose any and all efforts” against abortion. Remaining silent in the midst of this evil and injustice is a sin (Ezekiel 33, Proverbs 24:11-12). What’s more, it is a high handed sin to endorse such evil practices. Romans 1:28-32 states:

They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

It is not only a sin to murder, it is a sin to give approval of those who murder. And endorsement is exactly what takes place when you vote democrat. To say that you are against abortion and then actively vote democrat is a contradiction. Follow the “logic”:

  • I am not a racist, but give money to the KKK.
  • I am against domestic abuse, but don’t report it when I see my neighbor beating up his wife.
  • I live in Germany in 1944 and every day I walk by Auschwitz, look in the windows, and then go home to have dessert with my family.

Do these scenarios sound outrageous? They should. The abortions that are facilitated by Planned Parenthood poses a similar conundrum for the Christian Democrat. I would be a hypocrite if I said the following:

  • I am against abortion, but I vote for a political party that supports an organization that has killed millions of infants.

If this bullet point seems different than the previous three, you have been blinded and calloused by the ideals and ethics of our culture. You may be assuming that I am advocating “single-issue voting” at this point. In part, I am. But let me be clear, We shouldn’t cast our lot with any politician just because he is pro-life. Yet we must agree that pro-life is a requirement for our vote. If we could have voted in the womb, this would have been our fundamental requirement. We live in a fallen world and will not always be able to agree with every candidate’s beliefs. It is not wrong to vote for an imperfect politician, however, it is immoral to vote for someone who supports the slaughter of the innocent. Perhaps you have voted democrat your entire life. I would ask you to consider that a blessing because of the solitary fact that you have a life in which you can vote. I cannot say the same for millions of others whose lives have been snuffed out because of what the Democratic Party supports.

I am not trying to be a party pooper, but some things always ruin a party. “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater” does not work when babies are being drowned. The Democratic Party may have some merits, but those merits are drowned out because they “strongly and unequivocally support” baby genocide. For the sake of our lives and for the sake of countless others, let’s leave behind the party that seduces us to think it’s okay to remain silent and chomp on our salads while heads are being severed. We don’t want to drink the kind of wine that the “doctors” at Planned Parenthood have to offer. Christians cannot support abortion in any way, shape, or form. In fact, we must do the opposite. We must do everything we can to stand up for the genocide that is taking place. Here are some starters:

  1. We should not endorse politicians who remain silent when it comes to slaughtering children. Many politicians, including our current president, are deathly silent in response to the recent videos – and I mean deathly silent. Nine hundred babies are dismembered each day our politicians do nothing about Planned Parenthood. And those numbers are just from the Planned Parenthood facilities.
  1. Speak against these issues and point out logical inconsistencies. Speak loud with lungs full of truth in love. What do we have to lose? Certainly not our lives. But babies’ lives are being lost every day as we dodge this topic because of political issues. Our president is right; we do need to “put our politics aside.” But not in the way he hypocritically suggests. We need to put politics aside and actually talk about the evils of abortion. Our country needs moral clarity. Call, write, email, and tweet to your congressmen and women.
  1. I want to encourage you to share these videos. Speak up on social media using #defundplannedparenthood, #defundPP, and #PPsellsbabyparts. More videos will be released each week. If you have not done so already, please watch and share them. Fill up your feed. Let your favorite social media outlet become the voice of the unborn.
  1. Most importantly, we need not only talk about these things, but we need to take action. This includes voting. It includes going down to your local abortion clinic to offer sidewalk counseling or peaceful protesting. I want to specifically encourage you to take a look at Speak for the Unborn ministries and see how you can get involved.
  1. If you are a pastor, I want to encourage you to consider bringing these matters before your congregation and even partnering with likeminded churches in the area. Perhaps you can select a day when your church will participate in sidewalk counseling together with other churches in your city.
  1. Fast and Pray. These are weighty matters and the God of heaven deserves to be praised by every human voice. Each child is precious to God because he created them in the womb (Psalm 139). Our God is in the heavens and he does whatever he pleases (Psalm 115:3). Let us seek his face and ask for him to turn hearts away from destruction and towards life (Proverbs 21:1).

Conclusion: We can’t merely agree in our hearts that abortion is wrong. Jesus can forgive every person who has aborted a child and every abortion “doctor” who has murdered one. But there has never been a better time to ask Jesus for forgiveness about our silence, our votes, and to begin encouraging others to speak up for those who cannot.

Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, ‘Behold, we did not know this,’ does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work? (Proverbs 24:11-12)

First Video: Salads, Wine, and Baby Parts

Second Video: “I want a Lamborghini” 

Before You Jump: Questions About Dating, Engagement, and Breaking Up

by Spencer Harmon
by Spencer Harmon

The turmoil caused by dating still makes my stomach churn.  Man was not made to be alone, and so God created woman so that they could be together (Genesis 2:18).  But it was the in-between phase – the phase where I was trying to figure out who to be together with – that made me queasy.  The restlessness brought by yearning for a companion; the self-inflicted duress fueled by the advice of older married peers; the sheer confusion of figuring out if that person is the person (and how do I know for sure?).

For me, the tension was in maintaining the balance.  How do I balance physical attraction and inward beauty?  How do I balance finding someone who is different enough to complement me and yet also ensuring we are compatible?  How do I balance the encouragement from a couple I respect and also ensure that I’m not dictated by the advice of others?  How do I know for sure?

To add to the confusion, the Bible doesn’t give detailed instructions on how to navigate every nuance of dating.  Although the Bible has much to say about purity, marriage, and relationships, the Bible isn’t a dating guide.  The Bible does not work like your GPS on your phone when it comes to dating.  Instead, the Bible gives us categories that we must think deeply about and apply to our lives.  God has given Christians categories through which we can process our most complex issues – even the issue of whether or not you should marry someone.

Perhaps you are in a relationship, and you feel your stomach churning, too.  You care deeply about the person you are with, but you know how serious marriage is, and the commitment makes your head turn.  What was once an exhilarating  adventure of learning about someone else, has become a tangled knot of responsibility and decision-making.  Now, you are seeking to make the decision of whether you should run into or out of this relationship.  Or maybe your stomach is not churning at all, and you aren’t concerned about running at all.  You are coasting with no direction, and you need to get going.  You need to decide  which direction to run or at least to begin running.  Before you make this decision, consider these three categories:

  1. Foundation: Fear or Faith?

Faith is the beating heart of the Christian.  By it we are brought into the family of God (Romans 3:28), and without it we cannot please God (Hebrews 11:6).  It is the posture of the heart that has been made right with God, and the lifeblood that animates our lives.

God loves faith, and throughout our life he is always putting us in situations where it must be exercised.  Prayer, suffering, persecution, and leadership are just a few areas God calls his people to practice faith.  When we bleed faith in a hard circumstance we show the world that God is a rock that is a worthy place to build our lives (1 Peter 3:14-16).

As you consider your next steps in your relationship, look down at your feet and examine whether you stand on the rock of faith or the sand of fear.  Remember that fear or faith can motivate you towards or away from a relationship.  You may know that your relationship needs to end, but you won’t end it because you fear what your mutual friends may think.  But instead of fearing man, God would call you to break up by faith – trusting that God will care for your cares and those of your significant other (1 Peter 5:6-8).  Or, you may need to move your relationship towards engagement, but you are paralyzed by the fear of commitment and the unknown terrain of marriage.  But instead of fearing the unknown, God would call you towards engagement by faith – trusting that the promise of his presence with you through the unknown will sustain you (Isaiah 41:10).

Fear kills relationships.  We will never experience full and lasting relationships if they are in the death-grip of fear.  The God who knows all things and orchestrates them for the good of his people is calling you to build your relationship by faith in his goodness.

  1. Vision: Man’s World or God’s World?

Christian couples are pilgrims traveling through Babylon as citizens of the New Jerusalem (Philippians 3:20).  There are obvious dangers to avoid: impurity, idolatry, neglecting community.  These are the sins that derail and end relationships.

But before we discuss the pitfalls along the road, we must ensure we are reading the right map.  The temptation for many of us is far more subtle.  The temptation is to let our vision of dating be informed by man’s world rather than God’s world.  This is significant because our vision of dating creates our expectations for dating.  If our expectations are informed by a system in rebellion against God (1 John 5:19), our relationships will be stained with upside-down values – prioritizing short-term, second rate things that will leave you bitter, disappointed, and impossible to please.

As you consider whether or not you should move forward, ask yourself this question: are my thoughts and concerns about our future informed and motivated by God’s Word of man’s world?  Perhaps you value the way her body looks more than you value the inward person of her heart (Proverbs 31:30); perhaps you care more about his charisma than his character (1 Peter 3:7); perhaps you care more about pleasing the person in front of you rather the the Person who is always with you (Isaiah 2:22).  These are the disproportionate values are of Babylon – the world in rebellion against God.  Is your mind being transformed from these values or conformed to these values?

The most radical thing a Christian couple can do for one another is to prioritize the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) rather than the fruits of the serpent.  Consider which fruit your heart is cultivating before you take the next step.

  1. Expectation: Comparison or Contentment?

Comparison is poison that will eventually affect every part of your relationship.  This poison will infuse your relationship with unrealistic expectations for your significant other, and will cloud your thinking from seeing them for who they really are.  Comparison has an utopian expectation for relationships that God never promised in a fallen world, and it compels us to run when we should stay.

The problem with comparison is that it will never have enough.  Even if you were to end your relationship because you believe there may be something better, you won’t find it.  If you are seeking to find heaven with your spouse, you are trying to find the voice in an echo, the ocean in a stream, the city in a signpost.

Comparison ultimately dishonors God by limiting God’s creativity to your own box of preferences.  God’s creation of your significant other is unique, and not meant to be limited by our sinful expectations.  Our expectations must be expanded by a breathe of God’s fresh air from his Word.  Experience God’s creative pleasure in letting contentment inform your relationships.  God intends for you to experience joy in your significant other through the differences, and sanctifying you through living with another person in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7).  But you will only experience those differences by growing in your contentment in who God has made others to be, and not giving advice to God in who he should have made your future spouse to be.

Growth Through the Churning

Believe it or not, the churning in your stomach is a vehicle of growth.  God means to grow you through all different types of trials (James 1:2-4).  God also grows us through taking a step of trust in him even when we don’t feel it, but are acting in faith (James 1:25).  Check your foundation, adjust your vision, and inform your expectations, and make your move in faith.  And know that God promises his presence with you, through this decision, and every other one after that.

I am Twenty-Four and Unashamed

by Sean Perron
by Sean Perron

I am twenty-four years old and I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I feel the burden to write this now, because some of my peers might assume that anyone opposed to same-sex marriage has already had their mid-life crisis. It is now assumed that anyone who believes homosexuality is immoral is narrow-minded, old timey, unloving, and desperately clinging to ideologies that only worked when the world was flat.

I don’t claim to be cool, but I want you to know that I am not a white pudgy middle-aged man who hikes his khaki pants up to his belly button. I am twenty-four years old, wear Chacos and typing on a Mac. My best friend, Spencer, has black framed glasses and listens to rap music.

You need to know that I am twenty-four and believe that the message of Jesus Christ is good news for the poor.

I believe Jesus is the Son of God and was crucified on a bloody tree in order to marry someone. Jesus has a bride and that bride is anyone who believes that Jesus resurrected from the dead and claim him as the authority over their life and doctrine.

I want you to know that I am not ashamed of this gospel because it has changed my life.
I was in middle school when I hated church and only wanted to fulfill my lustful desires. It was then that I encountered the scriptures and my heart was struck to the core in an incredible way. Here is the headline of my life: I died and Jesus raised me to life and became my everything. I discovered God and yearned to understand his precious Word.

When I believed in Jesus, I became his bride and one day I will see him face to face and experience unhindered joy at his wedding banquet. Jesus loved the unlovable (me) and Jesus now defines my world. His gospel means that I am married to him and he is coming back again to get me. I am not ashamed of this gospel.

It is because of this gospel – and only this gospel – that I believe marriage is between one man and one woman. Jesus defines the terms for the world and Jesus designed marriage to reflect his glory. The gospel is about marriage and marriage is about the gospel.

The apostle Paul says that a wife submitting to her husband represents the church submitting to the Lordship of Christ (Eph 5:22-33). When a husband lays down his selfish ambition for his wife, this is a picture of Jesus sacrificing for his bride the church. When we think of marriage, we should think of sacrificial love and submission to the truth of Christ. Homosexuality and so-called gay marriage is contrary to the gospel preached in Ephesians 5. It distorts the true picture of love God that intends to display.

I am not on a crusade to smash anyone over the head with politics or a self-righteous agenda. I don’t have a hammer to beat anyone because my heart has been broken by the Word of Christ. I want the world to know that Jesus died to save sinners and that includes me and anyone who is a part of the LGBT community.

I am not ashamed of this gospel because it is the power of God unto salvation for everyone who believes. I don’t believe these things because I’m from the South, was raised by Christians, or watch Fox News.

I believe the gospel and all it’s implications because the God of the universe cracked open my hard-hearted soul and gave me faith.

It is my prayer that you will join me in believing this gospel and be unashamed of it. It is my hope that you will extend your arms to your neighbors who are struggling with same-sex attraction and love them like they have never been loved before – with grace and truth.

I am twenty-four and unashamed of this gospel (Rom 1:16). How about you?

For resources on counseling and homosexuality, listen to the Truth In Love podcast and check out the upcoming ACBC annual conference. 

Old Paths to the New You

by Spencer Harmon
by Spencer Harmon

For many twenty-somethings, we live in the awkward space between college kid and adult.  We journey through college, a manifold experience of uncertainty and discovery, and slowly wake up to the world.  For some, this is  devastating – realizing that their ambitions won’t pay their bills.  For others, this is invigorating – discovering gifts and abilities they never knew they had.  These are the extremes of the pendulum, and many of us find ourselves in the gap inside the gamut.

There is, however, a common discovery for many of us on the dawn of adulthood. We realize that they were right.  

Those ever-present voices of reason throughout your formative years when you thought you knew everything.  And even for those whose parents were absent, or who might as well have been, most of us have a they group. And we realize they were not so unacquainted with “how things really work” in the world.  Whether we like it or not, many of us see our reality beginning to align with those parents, mentors, or that older lady that had you over for lunch every Sunday.

Growing older has a humbling effect.  This comes when new responsibilities and those old voices of reason combine in an important moment of clarity and surrender.  We make the startling realization: I need help.

As we navigate through the new roads of adulthood, we need the voices of older saints to guide us.

The gravity of adulthood compels most of us into two opposite ends of surrender.  Some surrender their responsibilities by avoiding situations that would stretch them.  This is a safe place, and functions as a padded room of pride.  It’s safe, but lonely, and you’ll never know what is outside those four walls of your comfort zone.  Others, however, surrender their pride by admitting their limits and inexperience and recruiting help to understand their world and their place in it.  This is not a safe place; it is a marathon of humility – there are cramps, and aches, and course corrections – but discovery is along this road, and you’ll find your endurance builds as you go.

If you haven’t surrendered yet, you will.  Circumstance may crush you, a relationship will take a complex turn, a responsibility will lead you into uncharted territory.  Which surrender will you choose?

You need them.  The stable voice of a parent, the watchful eye of a mentor, the seasoned view of a counselor.  Although our young ambition is good, it’s often a mile wide and an inch deep.  Our limitations are not meant to cripple us, they are meant to compel us towards becoming life-long learners at the feet of God’s Word, God’s Spirit, and God’s saints found in the local church.

This will be uncomfortable.  These voices will poke, and prod, and press, and sometimes you will want to run.  Stay put.  These older voices force us out of the echo chambers of our peer groups, and enlarge our categories to match the bigness of God’s world.  The avenue of awakening is sometimes awkward. But awkwardness never killed anything, except our pride, and maybe our pride needs to die anyway.  Let your soul steep outside its comfort zone, and you’ll find the sweet taste of sanctification.

But this is not a one way road.  Parents, teachers, mentors, counselors: we need you.  You might feel irrelevant – you’re not.  Your fermented life produces the sweet wine of wisdom.  And we need wisdom to navigate these roads that grow increasingly treacherous as we live.  Your small words – and more importantly your invested time – might have eternal reverberations through our lives.

Let the words of the older generation of saints line the way of your path through life.  Let their testimonies of God’s work, their experiences of God’s world, and their stories of God’s grace spur you towards a deeper and wiser life.  And let the seasoned seeds of the older generation yield its fruit.