Category: Christian Living

Reflections on Ringing the Gong

Updates:

  • After 30 days in the hospital, I have been released! My blood counts are improving daily, and I’ve been placed on a lymphoma “Fast Track” recovery plan. Each day, I go to MDA for at least one appointment, and they are monitoring me closely.
  • I currently have no immunity, so my doctors have me on strict protocols to prevent any infection or virus. Unfortunately, our kids recently caught a cold, which means I won’t be able to see them for another week.
  • I will have another PET scan later this month to check on the status of my cancer. I will continue to receive regular PET scans over the next five years. The doctors won’t know whether the treatment was ultimately successful until we reach that five-year mark.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I’m incredibly thankful to the Lord that I’m an “early engrafter” and only had to stay in the hospital for 30 days. This is a true blessing and a surprise. I was told I would likely be a late engrafter for several reasons, but the Lord shocked us all!
  • I’m still re-learning simple tasks and currently walk with assistance. I attend physical therapy three times a week, and the main goal is to be walking without a walker by the end of June.
  • It will take months to rebuild my immune system. Please pray that I don’t get sick during this time, which would require a return to the hospital.

What I Am Learning:

  • I continue to learn the lesson of trusting God with all my heart (Proverbs 3:5–6). Ringing the gong on my way out of the hospital was a wonderful moment. I’ve been waiting since last August to ring some sort of cancer bell to signal the end of my treatment. The laughter and look on Jenny’s face when I rang the gong are priceless to me. I’m deeply thankful.
  • And yet, we still don’t know if the treatment worked. There’s no physical way to know right now—only time will tell. The doctors are optimistic but can’t offer guarantees. Even as we celebrate the completion of chemotherapy and my hospital discharge, there remains a deep opportunity to trust the Lord with the future. God has set it up this way, so I continue to depend on Him for complete healing. He’s not done stretching, shaping, and growing my faith through this trial.
  • I know the Lord has helped me every step of the way during this transplant process. But I must continue to trust Him with the years ahead and “lean not on my own understanding.” The journey of faith is not a one-time decision—it’s a lifelong pilgrimage to the celestial city.
  • While the doctors are optimistic and cannot guarantee total healing, Jesus promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me. The cross is my guarantee of that promise. Jesus died for my sins and rose again. Will He not also graciously give me everything I need? Will He not hold my future firmly, no matter what future PET scans may show?

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? … Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”
— Romans 8:31–35

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
— Proverbs 3:5–8

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • Fresh air! It’s good to be out of the hospital, even if I’m still weak. The Lord has humbled me through this process, and it’s easier now to see all the things I once took for granted. Going to lunch with a friend is a gift from the Lord. Being able to bend down and put on socks is a blessing. Attending a crowded event without fear of illness is a favor from God.
  • When we aren’t facing sickness or trials, it’s easy to feel independent from God and forget that our ability to eat, sleep, drink, and enjoy one another is a result of His kindness. Taking our health and “normal” life for granted is a subtle form of pride.
  • On a personal level, what can you enjoy today that you might normally overlook? What can you thank God for that you’ve forgotten comes from Him? When was the last time you asked for your “daily bread,” or do you just assume it will come?

“Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.”
— Luke 11:3–4

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
— 1 Corinthians 10:31

“Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
— James 1:16–17

Weakness and Winning the Lottery

Updates

  • Since my last blog, much has transpired. I received high-intensity chemo (Boy! They were not kidding. I didn’t realize fully how intense it would be!) and a stem-cell transplant. During the transplant, my vital signs plummeted; my body went into septic shock and I developed double pneumonia.
  • I was in the ICU for four days and have been slowly regaining my strength since then. I can now walk about 500 feet before becoming completely winded. I’ve never felt weaker in my entire life, but each day I grow a bit stronger.
  • I’m grateful to be able to type this without pain, as I previously experienced intense chemo burns on my hands from the treatment.

Prayer Requests and Praises

  • One of my nurses told me I should “buy a lottery ticket” when I recover, because I’m so lucky to be alive. I have no plans to gamble, but I praise God for sustaining my life. I was disoriented during the worst of it and didn’t fully grasp the gravity of my situation, yet God preserved me even when I didn’t realize how much danger I was in.
  • I am still very weak. Yesterday I walked with physical therapy and afterward was too exhausted to eat dinner, even though I wanted to so badly. Please pray that God would strengthen me each day.

Blessed is the one who considers the poor!
In the day of trouble the LORD delivers him;
the LORD protects him and keeps him alive;
he is called blessed in the land;
you do not give him up to the will of his enemies.
The LORD sustains him on his sickbed;
in his illness you restore him to full health. (Psalm 41:1–3)

What I Am Learning

I couldn’t use my hands because of the pain, and I couldn’t eat due to mouth sores from the chemo. I couldn’t walk or use the restroom on my own. I needed help in every way—and I still need constant assistance as I work to regain my strength. This is a time when I am utterly dependent physically.

In these moments, I must call upon the Lord for help and strength. It’s a strange and disconcerting feeling to want to do something but be physically unable. To desire food but not have the strength to eat is difficult. But even though my body is weak, the Lord remains the same. He is still lovely. He has not left me. This is a time to call upon Him afresh.

“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
— Psalm 46:10–11

What Has Been Encouraging

  • Jenny and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary on May 12th. I joked with the ICU staff that I had booked the most expensive hotel possible to celebrate our anniversary.It’s hard to express how essential Jenny has been to my healing process. She has read me the Psalms when I’ve been afraid, advocated for me when I could not speak, and even cleared massive amounts of mucus from my throat when I was choking in the middle of the night. She has cared for me consistently, kindly, and with complete devotion.
  • She has been my companion in sickness and in health. You could say I won the lottery, but it would be a lie. The Lord has shown me immense favor. I love her so much. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing,” but he who found Jenny did even better! Praise the Lord! (Proverbs 18:22)

A New Battle: ICU & Critical Care

[Blog Posted by Spencer Harmon]

Updates:

  • This past week has brought unexpected and intense challenges. Sean is currently in the ICU due to complications related to sepsis and respiratory pneumonia. In addition to these infections, he is experiencing painful chemo burns.
  • The medical team has been clear with the Perrons that this is very serious. Sean is in critical condition. And yet, they are optimistic. The doctors believe he will survive this. They are throwing everything they have at the situation, and Sean is receiving excellent care from his medical team.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray. We are asking God for strength, healing, and protection over Sean’s body in this crucial stretch. Pray that God gives strength to Jenny as she is with Sean around the clock. Pray for Sean’s parents, Steve and Annie, as they care for the kids.
  • Pray that the infections—sepsis and pneumonia—would respond swiftly to treatment.
  • Pray that Sean’s pain would be managed well and that the chemo burns would heal.
  • Praise God for a medical team that is hopeful and fully engaged.

What We’re Learning:

  • I had the opportunity to FaceTime with Sean and Jenny briefly during this time. It is obvious that this is the hardest moment in Sean’s journey, and a moment of great physical fragility. What do you say in moments like this? We talked about the things that aren’t fragile. God’s great promises in his Word.
  • Readers of this blog will know that Sean made a goal to memorize the Psalms of Ascent when he found out about his cancer. We prayed together that all those sentences, phrases, and promises from the Psalms would come to mind. God’s Word won’t return void!
  • God promises in Isaiah 43:2, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.” That is true for Sean, and for everyone who comes to the Lord through Christ.

Please Pray

The Perrons have been so grateful for your continued prayers as they walk through this trial. On their behalf, I want to ask you to take time to pray. Please ask God to heal Sean. Pray for God to give him endurance. Also, ask God to draw near to him and his whole family. We trust that he hears us when we call (Psalm 145:18)

Chemo, Catholics, and Charles Spurgeon

Updates:

  • I’m in the middle of “high-intensity chemo,” with four more days left before the official “Day 0” of transplant. I’m learning so much about the medical world!
  • I’m on a floor unit with Jenny, who is allowed to come and go as needed (with certain restrictions).

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I have never received so many drugs in my life! Please pray that these chemo drugs will kill any remaining microscopic cancer cells.
  • I’m viewing this transplant as a time of spiritual renewal and a deeper commitment to my family. I would love your prayers for me to draw closer to both during this month of isolation.
  • This transplant is a gift from the Lord. I’m very thankful to be here and am praising God for His kindness to me.

What I Am Learning:

  • I have shared the gospel more in the past few days than I think I have in a while. Numerous opportunities have arisen with the various medical staff rotating to care for me. There’s an atmosphere here at the cancer center of wanting to do good works and a sensitivity to those fighting for their lives.
  • I’ve met numerous Catholics and spoken with them about their perspectives on salvation and the passing of Pope Francis. It’s been a delightful time of conversation! Here’s a snippet from one exchange with a wonderful lady who has worked at the hospital for four decades and tends a beautiful garden every day:

Sean: I like your pin on your shirt. Are you Catholic?
Nurse: Yes. Thank you.
Sean: What do you think about the Pope passing away?
Nurse: I am sad, but he was old, and it was time.
Sean: I’m sorry. Yes, we will all have to face death. I’m trying to live right now, but I will eventually die.
Nurse: Yes. You must try, but we all will.
Sean: Can I ask you a question? Where do you think you will go when you die? Will you go to heaven?
Nurse: No one is perfect. I am trying to be a good person. I’m doing the best I can. I think I will make it. What about you?
Sean: You’re right that no one is perfect. And I’ve thought a lot about this question. I believe I will be going to heaven — even though I have sinned — because the way to heaven is by trusting in the work of Jesus on the cross, not by trusting in our good works. Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins, and He rose from the dead. Good works are important, but they cannot save us.

  • I could recount many more pleasant exchanges that have happened while these kind people take my blood, change my chemo IVs, or bring me water. Please pray for many more gospel conversations that point people to the only lasting hope in the world.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:8–10)

What Has Been Encouraging:

“Mental health” is a topic of conversation around the unit floor due to the difficulty isolation and cancer can bring. Each day, Jenny and I read from Charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening devotional, and the content has been extraordinary — much better than anything Maslow ever wrote! Here are some of the quotes so far:

“Divine omniscience provides no comfort to the ungodly mind, but to the child of God it overflows with consolation. God is always thinking about us, never turns His mind from us, always has us before His eyes.”

“No man can enter into the full meaning of these words. Some of us think at times that we could cry, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ There are seasons when the brightness of our Father’s smile is eclipsed by clouds and darkness.”

“Beloved, the wounds of Jesus are fairer in our eyes than all the splendor and pomp of kings.”

“Believer, rest assured that the heart of Jesus cares about your smallest concerns. The breadth of His tender love is such that you may turn to Him in every case; for in all your afflictions He is afflicted, and just like a father cares for his children, so He cares for you.”

“Child of God, death has lost its sting, because the devil’s power over it is destroyed. Stop fearing death! Ask God the Holy Spirit to grant you an intimate knowledge and a firm belief in your Redeemer’s death, so that you may be strengthened for that journey.”

“Whatever your especial need may be, you may readily find some promise in the Bible suited to it. Are you faint and feeble because your way is rough and you are weary? Here is the promise — ‘He giveth power to the faint.’ When you read such a promise, take it back to the great Promiser, and ask Him to fulfill His own word.”

“The Stars Have Aligned”

Updates

  • I reached the stem cell collection goal and have been cleared for transplant to start next week!
  • I have been released from the hospital after experiencing a serious allergic reaction during a minor surgery.
  • Chemo has started, and “high-intensity chemo” begins on Wednesday of next week.

Prayer Requests and Praises

  • This week was a wild one for us. My stem cell collection was proceeding slower than anticipated due to allergic reactions to a particular shot used to stimulate white blood cells. My goal was “5 million cells” (which is actually five million per kilogram I weigh, totaling over 300,000,000 cells), and I was lagging. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big problem, but the doctor told me it would delay my transplant start date by seven days. This was concerning because my cancer is so aggressive that even a week’s delay could allow the cancer cells more time to fester and grow. Neither we nor my doctor wanted that to happen.
  • A real answer to prayer occurred on Thursday when the doctor signed off for me to proceed. He said I would meet the necessary cell collection goal by the end of the day. This means the high-intensity chemo won’t be delayed! Appointments were immediately lined up for surgery to remove my stem cell collection device and replace it with the high-intensity chemo catheter.

The exact words we were told: “Multiple stars had to align for you to get that, and it just happened.”
Praise the Lord! As many of you have pointed out, it wasn’t the stars, but rather the Creator who made the stars — not random chance, but divine providence.

  • Things are now moving quickly, and I have begun chemotherapy treatment. Please pray for no more allergic reactions and for minimal (or no!) side effects.

What I Am Learning

  • The same day I received the great news about reaching the cell collection goal, I later experienced an intense allergic reaction during a minor surgery. They believe it was likely due to the numbing medication given at the start of the procedure. My breathing became difficult, and I was experiencing chest discomfort — all while my whole body turned as red as a hot pepper. I was awake during the procedure (under a very hot blue tarp!) and was quickly rushed to the ER and stabilized.
  • I am thankful to God that He preserved my life and gave me clarity of mind during the procedure to communicate with the many doctors and nurses working to help me. I admit I was becoming anxious during this ordeal but thought about Philippians 4:8-9. That passage speaks about dwelling on things that are good, lovely, right, and true. I thought about the key people God has placed in my life to care for me — Jenny, my parents, my kids, and individuals from First Baptist Church. I thought about deacons and staff members I work with who have shown us the love of Christ in extraordinary ways. God has truly blessed me and my family with great Christian fellowship that continues to sustain me even in urgent situations.


“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable — if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise — think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8–9)

I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
O LORD my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me. (Psalm 30:1–2)

What Has Been Encouraging

  • I have repeatedly thought about my family this week. In this blog, I want to highlight the constant love and support from my mom and dad. Our original plan was to spend the weeks in Houston leading up to transplant with our children, and then have my parents take over during my isolation period. That plan changed. My entire life I had never had any allergic reactions, but they began during my immunotherapy treatments back in March. Due to these allergic reactions, it became necessary for me to spend the past two weeks on campus at the hospital. My parents were thrown into 24/7 babysitting — and they rose to the occasion. They took care of me growing up, and now they are taking care of me through cancer by taking care of our kids.
  • Below is one of my new favorite pictures. It shows my whole family visiting me while I’ve been restricted to the hospital campus. They are leaving the property holding hands, and I am so grateful for their tireless effort to support me during this trial!

A Big Week: Cleared for Transplant

Updates:

  • My PET scan shows I am in remission! It’s hard to express just how incredible this news is. So many people have been praying for this moment, and from a human perspective, I should not be in complete remission.
  • Even though there are no traceable signs of cancer on my PET scan, it is still imperative that I proceed with the transplant. This is because a PET scan cannot detect cancerous cells below a certain threshold. My cancer is very aggressive, and I likely still have microscopic cancer cells that will return unless they are eradicated.
  • The transplant process is essential for a cure. I will receive a full week of high-intensity chemo that kills cancer cells at the base level. This chemo is so strong it will destroy my bone marrow. That’s why I need the transplant—it doesn’t kill the cancer itself but is necessary to save my life after the chemo does its work.
  • I’ve begun the stem cell production process! Things are moving quickly because any remaining cancer cells that escaped detection on the PET scan can grow fast, and we don’t want to give them the chance. For four days, I’ll receive medication to stimulate the production of stem cells for collection. Today, I had surgery to insert a device necessary for the transplant.
  • I’m still experiencing mild reactions to the drugs in my body and must remain on the hospital campus for monitoring, in case of a severe flare-up.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Thank God for a clear PET scan. I still can hardly believe it. This was crucial to the next steps, and we are amazed at God’s kindness to us.
  • I’m having mild allergic reactions daily. I’m on several medications to reduce their severity, but please pray they stop altogether.
  • Stem cell collection starts next week! Due to my allergic reactions, they’re using an alternative drug to stimulate my cells. This drug can take longer to produce enough white blood cells for collection. Please pray that it works efficiently and my body produces enough cells quickly—so I can begin the high-intensity chemo as soon as possible and prevent any new cancer growth in the meantime.

What I’m Learning:

  • This has been a big week for our family. Receiving the surprising news about the PET scan is such a gift from God and has set the course of our lives for the coming weeks. It hasn’t gone unnoticed that this all took place during Holy Week—a time when we remember the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus for sinners. It was the most important week in all of human history, and Jesus alone has sustained us through this trial.
  • If I could share one thing with you this Easter, it would be this five minute video:

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • As I reflect on this week, I’m thankful for many things—but two stand out in particular. First, my wife Jenny. She has been constantly caring for me, pouring out her love daily as I face various needs during this illness. In sickness and in health, her love remains steady and vibrant. I’m so grateful to be on this journey with her.
  • Second, the people of First Baptist Church. The Sunday before we flew out to Texas, our church held a prayer service for me and my family. I couldn’t attend because I was in the hospital, but I was able to watch part of the service online. I am confident that God heard their prayers that night and removed the cancer from my chest because of the faithful prayers of the saints. I am so thankful.

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!”

(Psalm 30:11–12)

Houston, We Have a Problem and Providence

Updates:

  • We have arrived in Houston!
  • I am currently hospitalized at MD Anderson due to unpredictable, severe allergic reactions. There are five different medications in my system that could be causing these episodes, and I am being closely monitored until further notice.
  • My next PET scan is scheduled for Monday, April 14th. It will show whether or not I am ready for transplant.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I was surprised at the airport by dear friends from church who held up signs and cheered for our family as we departed for Houston. Meanwhile, other church members drove our vehicles to Texas, filled with our belongings. These are just two of the many ways God has used His church to make this trip possible and bless us. We are so thankful.
  • The allergic reactions I’m experiencing are growing in intensity and severity. Please pray that they cease. The doctors are perplexed and uncertain which medication is causing them—all five can cause such reactions in a small number of patients. I am stable under their care, but please pray for wisdom and clarity.
  • Next week is a pivotal one. It will determine the course of my treatment plan for the next few months. Please pray that the cancer in my lung is gone and that I’m ready for transplant.

What I Am Learning:

  • The night before our trip, I had a reaction that caused us to stay overnight on the campus of Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL. In God’s kindness, I was still able to travel the next day. We landed in Houston, but things took a more intense turn. Within five minutes of arriving at our rental property, I broke out in hives and blacked out. Jenny found me on the bathroom floor in a state of emergency. I was taken by ambulance to MD Anderson, where I am being monitored.
  • I’m confident that God wanted me to get to Houston, and I believe He protected me on the flight. I’m so thankful that I didn’t have an episode on the plane and arrived safely. The doctors here are incredible, and I’ve already seen several specialists during my weekend in the hospital. God’s providential hand has sustained me—even through this difficult experience. Praise the Lord!
  • Have you considered God’s hand of providence in your own life? In what ways has God shown you surprising kindness through the details of your journey? If you haven’t done so in a while, take a moment to reflect on the good God has provided. He cares for His children even in the midst of hardship. His providence brings Him glory and calls us to see our continued need for His help. What are the ways He has provided for you today?

“When God has written His name on you, suffering qualitatively changes. Pain, loss, and weakness are no longer the end of the world and the death of your hopes.”— David Powlison, God’s Grace in Your Suffering, p. 36

Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
Be their shepherd and carry them forever. (Psalm 28:9)

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • I can’t imagine this journey without the church. First Baptist has shown incredible kindness to my family and has made it possible for me to receive life-saving care.
  • We’ve received so many notes, cards, texts, and porch drop-offs that have blessed our whole family in the lead-up to this trip. For example, the plane ride with our kids was smooth and easy thanks to thoughtful gifts from church members that kept them occupied. The level of care and detail has been overwhelming in the best way.
  • While we already miss First Baptist and our home, we feel deeply loved. From our entire family: thank you—we are so grateful!

Packing!

Updates

  • I completed my fourth round of “salvage chemo” this week.
  • We leave next week to fly to Houston, where we plan to stay for three months for my bone marrow transplant. I wanted to share a few more details about the transplant process, as some have asked.
    This will be an autologous transplant, meaning it will use my own stem cells. I will not be receiving cells from a donor. That’s good news—using donor cells comes with the risk of my body rejecting them, which can be life-threatening.
  • Once my stem cells are harvested, I will receive a week of incredibly high-powered chemotherapy, which will (God willing) kill the remaining cancer cells.
    It’s important to note that it’s not the transplant itself that kills the microscopic cancer cells in my blood—it’s the chemo. However, the chemo is so intense that it also destroys my bone marrow. That’s why the transplant is necessary—to “rescue” my bone marrow and restart my immune system.

Prayer Requests and Praises

  • The main prayer request is for the cancer mass to be completely gone. In order for the transplant to proceed, I must be in remission.
  • I’m thankful to have completed all of my scheduled chemo treatments here in Jacksonville. Now, we officially await the next phase of treatment in Houston.
  • Please pray for our family—especially Jenny, who is leading the charge while I’m sick from chemo—as we prepare and pack. It’s still hard to believe this journey is actually happening!

What I’ve Been Learning

  • I’m learning to trust the Lord more fully. There are days when my faith is strong and others when it feels weaker. But the Lord isn’t surprised by that. He promises to “hold me fast” through the storms of trial.
  • Each night we pray with our kids, and last night we focused on Proverbs 3:5–6:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.”
(Proverbs 3:5–6)

The Lord invites us to trust Him completely—and suffering, hard as it is, can be a way to deepen that trust.

  • God’s wisdom and plan for my life are best. It’s a very good thing I’m not in charge. I am not—and never have been—the author of my life.
    God is writing each of our stories for His glory and our good. There is peace in surrendering to that, and trusting Him to “bring to completion” the work He has begun.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
(Isaiah 55:8–9)

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
(Philippians 1:6)

What Has Been Encouraging

  • As we pack for our trip, we’re bringing along a few essentials—like books!
    I’m not sure how I’ll feel during the hospital stay, but I want to be prepared in case I’m able to read.
    Some of these books have been on my list for a long time, while others seem especially fitting for this season.
  • Many of them are devotionals or have short chapters, to increase the odds I can work through them slowly.
    If you spot one you like below, feel free to pick it up and let me know what you think—maybe it can be part of your summer reading too!

A Small and Passing Thing

Updates:

  • I had another round of chemo this week here in Jacksonville. The goal of this treatment is to eliminate the mass on my lung.
  • We are starting to pack as we prepare to leave for Texas.
  • My next PET scan is scheduled for April 15th.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • We are temporarily moving to Texas because I need a bone marrow transplant. However, it is crucial that the mass on my lung is gone before the transplant. The doctors will not proceed until it is eliminated, as the outcomes for patients with active disease are poor. Please pray that the chemo I am currently on will completely reduce the mass. We need to move to Texas regardless of the results of the upcoming PET scan because if my mass does not shrink completely, I will need a new array of treatment options.
  • One of our kids came down with strep throat this week but is doing better. In God’s kindness, I was spared from sickness! Please pray that I continue to avoid illness, as any sickness could delay my chemo.
  • There are many moving parts as we prepare for this transition. Please pray for our whole family as we embark on this new journey. The kids are excited—they can’t wait to see “a real cowboy!”

A Conversation on Hope During Medical Challenges

This week, Pastor Heath and I had a conversation about finding hope during difficult medical challenges. Here are several of the questions from the video:

  • What have been some of the most difficult or discouraging moments?
  • What has encouraged you along the way?
  • Have you ever doubted God’s love or goodness during this journey?
  • What would you say to someone who sees your suffering and struggles to understand?
  • Is there a passage of Scripture that has been especially meaningful to you during this time?
  • How can someone who is currently healthy prepare for future illness or suffering?

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • With a busy schedule and small children, finding time to read can be difficult! I typically read in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep due to steroids and chemo. It has taken me seven months, but I finally finished The Lord of the Rings trilogy.
  • Throughout the book, certain moments resonated with me deeply. One particularly powerful scene occurs when Sam and Frodo are on the final leg of their journey, approaching Mt. Doom. They are exhausted, thirsty, and desperate for sleep. Pushed to their limits, they crawl under a bush to rest while orcs lurk nearby. Sam takes the first watch as Frodo sleeps. Then, this moment unfolds:

“Then at last, to keep himself awake, [Sam] crawled from the hiding-place and looked out. The land seemed full of creaking and cracking and sly noises, but there was no sound of voice or of foot. Far above the Ephel Dúath in the West the night-sky was still dim and pale. There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”
(The Lord of the Rings: One Volume, p. 922, emphasis mine)

  • In that moment of great hardship, Sam looked up and saw a star piercing through the darkness. It reminded him that “in the end, the Shadow was only a small and passing thing.” For the Christian, this is true of all suffering. Grief, sorrow, and sadness are temporary, and Christ will be victorious in the end. In the gospel, there is “light and high beauty” forever.

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18)

Houston, Here We Come

Updates:

• Jenny and I flew to Houston this week and met with the bone marrow transplant team at MD Anderson Cancer Center.
• The trip was clarifying and has determined the next few months of medical treatment for me. The doctors reiterated how aggressive my cancer is and emphasized the need for a high-intensity treatment plan. We will be making plans to travel to Texas when the time comes for me to get the transplant.
• I will proceed with another cycle of chemotherapy this upcoming week, and it is critical that it reduces the mass in my lung to prepare for the transplant.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

• Jenny and I are so thankful for the trip to Houston and the clarity it brought. I felt the Lord’s care in a tangible way, unlike anything I’ve experienced since my diagnosis. I still don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that God is with us.
• Please pray that this new round of chemotherapy is successful and that the mass is completely reduced. For the transplant to proceed, the mass must be eradicated.

What I Am Learning:


• The Bible tells us to pray when we are suffering and when we are sick:

“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.” (James 5:13)


• One reason to pray in times of suffering is that God hears and understands our groaning. Regardless of how we feel, God is interested in our pain. He cares about our troubles and wants us to seek Him for help. God heard the groaning of the people of Israel when they were in slavery. He had compassion on them and responded to their cries.

Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. (Psalm 5:1–3) 


• God heard David’s cries repeatedly throughout his life, as he fled from his enemies and hid in caves. God heard the groaning of Jesus on the cross and vindicated Him. It is good and right for us to pray with David, saying, “God, give me your ear.” “Lord, lean down close and listen to my plight.” “Jesus, please pay attention to the misery I’m experiencing. I need You.” No matter what trial you’re facing, “in the morning,” God will hear your voice. Watch and pray.

What Has Been Encouraging:

• The caring sovereignty of God has been encouraging. My story is different from the astronauts aboard the International Space Station, but the words of Butch Wilmore ring true for my circumstances. If you haven’t heard his explanation of trusting God even when bad things happen, you should watch the video below. He cites Hebrews 11, which recounts the faith-filled heroes of the Old Testament. Some of their stories have good endings… and some do not. Regardless, God was working powerfully in their lives. Be encouraged and take a few minutes to watch Heath Lambert explain the astronaut landing in “The Biggest Story of the Week.” You can watch it here.

[32] And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—[33] who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, [34] quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. [35] Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. [36] Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. [37] They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—[38] of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. (Hebrews 11:32–38; note the shift from “good” outcomes to “bad” ones in verse 35)