Tag: cancer

From the Lord

Updates: 

  • A lot has transpired since my last update! We have spent the week connecting with lymphoma specialists from around the country. Jenny and I even took a trip to Houston to visit the main campus of MD Anderson.
  • My open lung biopsy came back with results indicating that I have Primary Refractory Classical Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This means my previous treatment plan was unsuccessful and my cancer is more aggressive than originally thought.
  • I will be changing treatment facilities and seeing a local lymphoma specialist due to the more unique nature of my case. My new treatment plan will include six weeks of “high-intensity chemo” to prepare me for a bone marrow transplant. Every doctor I’ve spoken with believes I need a bone marrow transplant. I will begin my new chemo treatment ASAP.
  • Several people have wondered why my open lung biopsy was just a biopsy and didn’t remove the growing mass completely. The answer is that the mass is not the primary issue. Lymphoma is a blood cancer. Even if the mass were removed, the cancer would still be present and would simply relocate to another area in my body. The goal of this new round of chemotherapy is to eradicate the mass by killing every cancer cell in my body. The aim is to attack the cancer at the cellular level instead of superficially.

Prayer Requests and Praises: 

  • We are grateful for the clarity provided by the recent biopsy. My surgeon was excellent, and the procedure was crucial for informing the next phase of my treatment plan. We praise God for this!
  • This next phase of treatment is very important, and we need the Lord’s help. The doctors believe there is still a possibility of a cure with a successful transplant. We are grateful there remains a good treatment option! But the Lord is more important than what any doctor thinks or predicts. My family and I would ask that you pray for us during the next several weeks, that God would cure me of this illness. Please pray my body will have strength this next week for the chemo – especially after my recent biopsy as I am still recovering.

What I am Learning: 

  • While it is good that my biopsy was conclusive, it is hard to hear that my mass is cancerous. We had originally planned on receiving two more treatments to complete my original twelve and then be in the clear. We are now entering a more difficult phase than we initially expected. I have had various responses and reflections since receiving the news about my mass. The most important one is that I must confess with Job: “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10)
  • The Lord is the Lord, and He is in total control of my life. Our God is in the heavens, and He does all that He pleases (Psalm 115:3). Every twist and turn of my life is ordained by Him and under His sovereign care. Jesus did not stop loving me when I got lymphoma, nor when I realized it was refractory lymphoma. The Lord is kind and faithful to my family, regardless of hard news. He will continue to “keep” my life “from this time forth and forevermore” (Psalm 121). I am confident of this because Jesus died for my sins and rose from the grave victoriously. “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32).

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • My wife is the very best. As we traveled to Houston, she took care of everything. She brought all our medical files, bags, and gear with us. I was completely useless traveling because I am not allowed to lift anything due to my recent surgery.
  • Jenny faithfully and joyfully took care of me, and we had a great time. No one wants to travel to a different city for cancer care, but it was our first trip since I was diagnosed. I am so blessed by the Lord to have a wife who is committed “in sickness and in health!”

Ps. I have been locked out of my Facebook account because I don’t currently look like the photo ID that Facebook has on file (due to chemo). I have tried everything to get back into my account and discovered that Meta is notoriously difficult with customer service for individuals in my situation. I will continue to persist. For now, the best way to get updates is via email from this blog. So sorry!

Recovering at Home

Updates: 

  • This past week I had an “open lung biopsy” to remove tissue from a mass that is growing on my lung. The surgery was very successful.
  • The surgeon was able to get enough tissue for a good biopsy. My doctor will review results with me next week. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I am recovering better than expected! I have a lot of breathing exercises to do, but they were able to dismiss me earlier than originally anticipated! Praise the Lord! 
  • I am thankful to God that this surgery was successful and the tissue collected was adequate. 
  • Please pray for me as I recover that I will not get an infection, that my strength will return, and that I will get the necessary treatment following this biopsy. 

What I am Learning: 

  • The love of God for me doesn’t change based upon circumstances. His faithfulness remains consistent no matter what the day brings. A church member sent me some verses from Psalm 139, and they been incredibly encouraging. I have thought about it a great deal. 
  • God hems me in all the days of my life. He goes before me into surgery. He loves me regardless of what the biopsy results reveal. He has laid his hand upon me regardless of any outcome. 

         Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. (Psalm 139:4–6)

  • These thoughts are comforting for the Christian. But only the Christian can find peace in them. The peace of God can only be obtained by faith. Do you know peace that isn’t based on circumstances? Or do you fear death? If you fear death, I encourage you to listen to this wonderful podcast by Jay Adams. It is about nine minutes long. It is powerful and can bring you peace through Christ. You can listen to it here or here.

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • It is hard to sleep in a hospital! Nearly every hour it seems they come to poke or examine you. It is better to recover at home. This is especially true if you have little ones who play teatime. 
  • Our kids don’t fully understand what is happening to me. They just know I go to the doctor a lot. This is as it should be. They can play and bring me plastic cakes without having to be concerned about things too great for them. 

Real-Time Deliverance

Updates: 

  • I have an enlarged lymph node in my lung that is difficult to diagnose.
  • Once my doctors can determine why my lymph node is behaving abnormally, they will be able to update my treatment plan. I need more testing to be done.  

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray for the upcoming tests and their results. Pray that tests would be conducted quickly and would come back clear. 
  • Please pray for me that God would deliver me from all cancer and increase my faith in him. 

What I am Learning: 

  • I am learning two truths simultaneously. First, I am learning to pray (as the Psalms do) for real physical deliverance. Second, I am learning to trust God as my rock even when it feels like deliverance is far off or not coming. The Psalms articulate both important lessons repeatedly.
  • I have found myself praying for deliverance and learning to entrust myself to God, no matter what happens. These two realities might feel like they are in tension, but they are not in conflict. Notice how Psalm 31 captures both a real prayer for physical deliverance and a demonstration of trust in God’s sovereignty over our days. 

For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me; you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, (God saving in real time) for you are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit; (David trusting God no matter what) you have redeemed me, O LORD, faithful God. (Psalm 31:3–5)

 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand; (David trusting God’s sovereignty) rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! (David asking for real time deliverance) Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love! (Psalm 31:14–16)

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • Some of the testing has made me physically weak, but there are “good days” to be had even during weakness. It is important to seize every good day for the glory of God and not let the looming future (of tests and results) corrupt it. 
  • For example, there are good days in which I’m able to come into the office and participate in meetings like normal. It is also a good day when I’m able to go to the hospital and get a test done because I have no other underlying conditions which prevent me. Even though the test might be difficult, I am still able to do it! 
  • One great day this week was Jenny’s birthday. On the way home from work, I was able to stop by Publix and get her some flowers, balloons, and a cake. We celebrated and watched part of a movie together. What a great day to celebrate the best wife of all the times! Jenny is such a servant, and she serves our family with extraordinary excellence from Jesus. I’m so thankful Jesus saved her and let us get married! 

The Lord is My Rock

Updates: 

  • My medical team has put a pause on my chemo treatments until they can discover the cause of my cough. I had a PET scan this past week, but the results are not conclusive. I need more testing to be done to inform my situation and see if any adjustments need to be made to future treatment.  
  • I am thankful for my doctor and his desire to be thorough. Although I was anticipating getting chemo this week, I do believe it is best to be informed with the most accurate information instead of just proceeding as normal. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray for any future tests and the results. Pray that tests would be conducted quickly and would come back clear. 
  • Please pray that whatever is causing my cough would be completely healed. 

What I am Learning: 

  • I keep realizing suffering is an opportunity to trust the Lord. It is tempting to view this as a setback and be discouraged by it. However, there is nothing to do except wait on the Lord as I wait for more test results. 
  • During the first part of a PET scan, they inject you with an isotope. They instruct you to sit still in an isolation room for about an hour. During that time, I listened repeatedly to Psalm 62. (I use the Dwell App which is a wonderful app for Bible reading)
  • This Psalm has been a real source of comfort for me. God knows the outcome of every test and he is my rock. 

         For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. (Psalm 62:5–7)

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • Each time I get a scan, I try to use it as a test for my Bible memory. For PET scans, they wrap you like a burrito and place you in this machine that looks like a giant donut. As the scanner hums over, it is a good time to rehearse the Bible. This focuses my mind and my heart.
  • This time I started with the book of Genesis and tried to recount as much content as I could from each chapter. I was able to make it all the way to chapter 11 by the time the scan was complete (Which is a good thing because I couldn’t remember anything from chapter 12!). 
  • Each chapter of Genesis is filled with God’s lovingkindness to his people who are rebellious and broken. God is so kind to us. He promised a Messiah who would be the one to die in our place and take our sins upon the cross. Jesus is our sure rock because he died and rose again.  

Real People with Real Problems

Updates: 

  • I’ve been feeling rather sick this past week. The chemo has become more difficult.
  • My doctor is concerned about some of my symptoms (e.g. cough) and has moved up the date of my PET scan. I will now be getting a PET scan next week to check on my progress.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray for my PET scan next week. Pray that it will give my doctors insight and come back clear!
  • Jenny has been an all-star at home. She tends to our whole family, and I am so thankful for her.
  • I’ve continued to have lingering night sweats and a cough. Please pray these go away and that God heals me completely!

What I am Learning: 

  • It’s easy to become self-focused after receiving a diagnosis or enduring a lingering sickness. We forget that doctors, nurses, receptionists, and coordinators are real people with real problems, just like us. I have learned one practical way to suffocate fear is to focus on others. Jesus had this mindset, even to the point of death on a cross (Philippians 2:5-9).
  • The remarkable blessing of growing in love happens when we turn our attention away from ourselves and toward others in the name of Christ. Jesus came to earth not to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many. He even served His family on the cross when He entrusted Mary to John. We can forget our fears more and more as we focus on others to the glory of God.
  • Are you going through a season which requires you to visit the doctor or hospital regularly? Ask yourself the following questions: How can you be a blessing to the medical staff helping you through your illness? Do you know their stories? Have you asked them about their lives when they draw your blood? Do you know their names and how you can pray for them? It is a blessing to serve even when we are suffering. 

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • I’ve mentioned before that often I would watch Planet Earth with our kids. We completed the trilogy but just discovered an even better series. It is incredible. It is called The Riot and the Dance.
  • This documentary is extremely well written and purposefully glorifies God throughout the show. Be amazed and enjoy! I won’t think of ostriches the same.

Six Truths for Times of Suffering

Updates: 

  • Yesterday I completed my 10th chemo treatment. Ten down, two to go! Praise the Lord! 
  • Chemo wipes me out, but the Lord is sustaining me. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Chemo becomes more difficult with each treatment. Please pray that my body will respond well, and my nausea will lessen for my final two rounds. 
  • Above all, please pray these last two rounds cure me from cancer and my next PET scan (at the end of February) will be completely clear! We want to return into “normal life” to do more ministry and grow as a family together in a more normal routine.  

What I am Learning: 

  • Early on in my treatments I read through the book of Philippians. Here are six truths from the final chapter which are encouraging for times of sufferings: 
  1. Suffering is an opportunity to expand my joy. “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4)
  2. Suffering is an opportunity to pray and bring my fears to God with my thanksgiving. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
  3. Suffering is an opportunity for me to have more joy in knowing people are concerned and care about me. “I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.” (Philippians 4:10)
  4. I can face suffering through Christ who gives me his power and strength.
    “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
  5. Suffering is an opportunity for the church to share in my trouble and show the kindness of Christ. “Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.” (Philippians 4:14)
  6. God will richly give me everything I need to face suffering. “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Philippians 4:19-20)

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • I continue to be encouraged by your faithful prayers. Jenny and I both love hearing from you, and it is a blessing to know that you are on this journey with us through prayer.
  • There are many of you who are experiencing extreme trials, some more intense and extensive than my own. It is remarkable how God is sustaining you through His Spirit and by the power of His Word. I hear your stories of suffering and see that God is at work in your lives.
  • There is always someone who “has it worse” than we do or who is going through a more difficult challenge. God uses these stories of suffering to bring comfort to His people.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3–7)

The Character of God in the Midst of Suffering

Updates: 

  • I unfortunately contracted the stomach bug, and it has been a bumpy ride at times this week! I’m staying away from the family again so they don’t get sick. 
  • Good news! My chest x-ray is negative for pneumonia and infection. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Even though I am sick, I am thankful it has not delayed treatment. I contracted the illness after my last chemo infusion. 
  • Still no signs of infection with my two incisions from my port surgeries. This is a real blessing! 
  • My next infusion is on January 16th and is followed by one on the 30th. My final infusion is on February 13th. We are on the home stretch, so please pray all the cancer is killed! 

What I am Learning: 

  • The character of God is astounding. The more we spend time thinking about who God is, the more it shapes who we become. “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)
  • God is infinite. This means that all his attributes are infinite as well. They keep going and going. To say it differently, God’s mercy, grace, love, power, and majesty are always exciting, fresh, and never exhausted. We will forever be discovering new layers and depths of who God is. It will take an eternity to plumb the love of God for us in Christ Jesus. 
  • The truths about how God’s attributes are forever deep are a help during times of suffering. God’s endless (new morning) mercies mean that I can continually pray to him and ask for deliverance. God’s ever-abounding love means that he will always surround me as the mountains surround Jerusalem – from this time forth and forever more (Psalm 125). God’s matchless and perpetually amazing power means I can trust that he will hold me and protect me perfectly. 

“Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.” (Psalm 145:3) 

 “To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ…” (Ephesians 3:8) 

“So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17–19)

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • When I am feeling crummy from the chemo, I am typically laid up in my bed. However sometimes I can lie on the couch in our living room. Our kids really like it when I can do this because we get to watch “Planet Earth.” 
  • We have seen the whole trilogy of Planet Earth. In my opinion, the first one is the best, and the third is the worst. 
  • We recently watched an entire segment in which a pack of lions was desperate for food. They were so hungry they decided to attack an elephant near a water hole. The whole pack struggled at first but was eventually successful at taking down this one elephant. We don’t typically think of lions as desperate, but they can “suffer want and hunger.” 
  • While the king of the jungle might go hungry, God tells us that we “lack no good thing.” God always provides for us good things because he himself is good. Look at the connection in Psalm 34 between God’s goodness and how he provides for us even more than the lions. His character and his actions are connected.    

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:8–10)

  • Do you want the assurance that God will provide for every need of yours in Christ Jesus? Call upon his name. He died and rose again so that you might have abundant life. Oh taste and see that he is good! 

Resolved to Go Forward

Updates: 

  • I apologize for the delay in posting this week’s update! My infusions have been moved to Thursdays and I was unable to write it until today due to the side effects of the chemo. 
  • I have three more infusions to go before the end of treatment PET scan. 
  • Unfortunately, I have developed a cough again and an increase in night sweats. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I am thankful for a successful 9th treatment! I did not throw up during this treatment. Praise the Lord! Our family is also over the stomach bug and feeling much better!
  • My medical team is trying to determine the source of my increased cough. Back in July, I was coughing every five minutes. My cough subsided when the lymph nodes in my lungs started to reduce. But a cough has returned. Is it a side effect of the chemo? Is the cough due to another illness? Is it the remaining cancer? I got an X-ray yesterday, which will hopefully find or rule out an infection in my lungs. 
  • Please pray that my cough subsides and my night sweats go away completely. Pray the doctors can determine more information in the coming week.

What I am Learning: 

  • Each night when I am unable to sleep, I read some in the Gospel of Luke. This section from Jesus’ instruction was simultaneously jarring and comforting to me. 

“I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has authority to cast into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Luke 12:4–7)

  • Jesus calls his disciples his “friends” and is preparing them for the future. How does he prepare them? He tells them to fear God more than the future. Fear the Lord who determines the destiny of your soul rather than fearing what can end your earthly life. He proceeds to give the famous illustration of how God cares for the sparrows yet cares even more for us – his “friends.” In addition to this, Jesus says the hairs of our heads are numbered! God knows exactly what will happen to each of them. 
  • From our vantage point, the future feels uncertain at times. Take, for example, my cough and night sweats. I do not yet understand what is causing them, and the doctors don’t understand yet, either. But the Lord does. God already has my future securely planned, even though it seems uncertain.
  • If you are a Christian, the Lord has a good future planned out for you. You are more valuable than the birds of the air which God takes care of regularly. You are his friend and precious to him. As believers in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, we have a sure path ahead of us which is always for our good and God’s glory. In times of trouble, we feel the uncertainty of the future, but our future is always secure in Christ. Fear God, not your future! 

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • Early on in this journey I mentioned that Jenny and I enjoyed watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy in 15-minute increments at night before bed. We completed the movies, and I picked up reading the trilogy in the night when I am unable to sleep. I read the Gospel of Luke and then read Lord of the Rings. The stories in LOTR are ones of courage, hope, and perseverance in the face of dark and foreboding evil. 
  • I have been encouraged by the scene in which the traveling Fellowship found rest in the beautiful woods of Lorien. They were able to rest and have peace among the golden trees for a season. This was a welcome change to their perilous and difficult journey. But the time came for them to leave this secret oasis and press forward to cast the ring into the depths of Mt. Doom. Tolkien writes, 

That night the Company was again summoned to the chamber of Celeborn, and there the Lord and Lady greeted them with fair words. At length Celeborn spoke of their departure. ‘Now is the time,’ he said, ‘when those who wish to continue the Quest must harden their hearts to leave this land. Those who no longer wish to go forward may remain here, for a while. But whether they stay or go, none can be sure of peace. For we are come now to the edge of doom. Here those who wish may await the oncoming of the hour till either the ways of the world lie open again, or we summon them to the last need of Lórien. Then they may return to their own lands, or else go to the long home of those that fall in battle.’ 

There was a silence. ‘They all resolved to go forward,’ said Galadriel looking in their eyes.

(Tolkien, J.R.R.. The Lord Of The Rings: One Volume (p. 367). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.)

  • I have had many moments in which I thought, “I don’t want to do another chemo treatment.” Or “I wish I didn’t have to get this surgery and just stop it all so that I could enjoy a more normal life for a season.” “My family has already been through so much!” These thoughts are foolish. If I were to stop treatment now, I would be able to have several months of a more “normal” life, and then I would be right back where I started – with aggressive, deadly cancer returning quickly. My doctors are optimistic that I will recover and be cured soon, but I must stay the course. 
  • If I turn back from this quest, it may take some time, but it will mean certain doom for me. If I continue this quest, it might mean doom, but it also might be the very thing that saves my life. The only real decision is to move forward and not turn back. 
  • I am resolved to go forward on this quest because it is my only real option and because I know that in Christ, my future is certain. I might not always know what the future holds, but Jesus promises to be with me through the fire and the flood. So, we press on and are resolved to go forward! 

     But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you. (Isaiah 43:1–5)

Although I would not choose to be isolated away from everyone, I found my time in isolation productive for sleeping, reading, working, writing, praying, and creating. Here is a small painting I made during one of my times in isolation. It is my first time using just a painter’s knife. It is Frodo and Sam on the final leg of their journey to Mt. Doom.

Tyndale’s Cell and My Cells

Updates: 

  • Due to my recent surgeries, my chemo treatment had to change slightly. My next infusion is scheduled for January 2nd.
  • Christmas morning dawned, and I awoke to find that Jenny had already been up for hours sick. She had a bad stomach bug, so we isolated her and delayed opening gifts. The next morning, our 1-year-old came down with the sickness, and I am now back in isolation away from sickness. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I am thankful that I am not sick! This is the second time in a month that I have had to be in isolation, but it is a real praise that I haven’t caught whatever illness my family contracted. Please pray that I remain healthy and they recover soon! 
  • I have four chemo infusions left in my treatment plan. My medical team remains optimistic the cancer will be gone by the end. Jenny (in between all her hard work) texted me this prayer this morning: “Praying that God would heal you fully and completely even now, ridding your body of every cancer cell and replacing it with good healthy cells that you can use to glorify Him.” 

What I am Learning: 

  • I will admit I didn’t take the news of having to be isolated over the holidays well. Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” My heart was a bit more than sick. It was Scrooge on Christmas. 
  • But the biggest problem I had on Christmas was not my unfortunate circumstances – it was my sin. My sour outlook only made things worse and sucked out the joy I could have had on Christmas day. By the end of the day, my perspective had changed, and my heart was grateful for various blessings from the Lord. 

 “I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!” (Psalm 34:1–3) 

  • This Psalm has been on repeat in the background of my mind for months now. Yet I failed to think of the first verse in which the Psalmist says he will bless the Lord “at all times” and “his praise shall continually be in my mouth.” When I was frustrated on Christmas morning by the reality of our family being separated, I missed the opportunity to increase my joy and bless the Lord. God did not do anything wrong to us and he has only been faithful during this difficult season. There are countless reasons to be grateful and praise his name “at all times.” 
  • I am thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning in Jesus Christ. The first Christmas was about Christ coming into the world to save sinners and make us clean through his life, death, and resurrection. I am thankful to God that I can experience that forgiveness and hope even when I respond poorly to the sickness of the holidays. 

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • I finally watched the sermon John Piper preached at the Missionary conference hosted at First Baptist. I hated to miss the conference due to sickness, but I am thankful the content is available for free online. 
  • In his sermon, Piper reads a letter Tyndale wrote while in prison. Tyndale was cold and sick yet still focused on what mattered most. The letter is gripping and remarkable. I found it personally encouraging because even though I have cancer, I have a comfortable bed with blankets. Indeed, I have received several warm blankets as gifts to help me during my recovery. Tyndale was imprisoned for 16 months in a wet cell without windows. I have windows, my family nearby, a wonderful church family, and my treatment plan is only scheduled to last six months. 
  • I am not sure what you are experiencing this holiday and winter season, but may your heart be filled with gratitude and encouragement as you read this letter from Tyndale: 

“Wherefore I beg of your lordship, and that by the Lord Jesus, that if I am to remain here through the winter, you will request the commissary to have the kindness to send me from the goods of mine which he has a warmer cap, for I suffer greatly from the cold in the head and am afflicted by a perpetual catarrh, which is much increased in this cell. A warmer coat also, for this which I have is very thin. A piece of cloth, too, to patch my leggings. My overcoat is worn out. My shirts are also worn out. He has a woolen shirt, if he will be good enough to send it. I have with him also leggings of thicker cloth to put on above. He also has warmer night caps. And I ask to be allowed to have a lamp in the evening. It is indeed a wearisome to sit alone in the dark. But most of all I beg and beseech your clemency to be with the commissary that he will kindly permit me to have the Hebrew Bible, Hebrew grammar, and Hebrew dictionary, that I may pass the time in that study. In return may you obtain that which you most desire so only that it be for the salvation of your soul. But if any other decision has been taken concerning me to be carried out before winter, I will be patient. Abiding the will of God to the glory of the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ, whose Spirit I pray may ever direct your heart. Amen  William Tyndale.”

Cancer and Christmas

Updates: 

  • On Sunday morning I was getting ready for church and realized I had a hole in my chest! I saw straight through to the tubing for my cancer port. My doctors wanted me to get it removed immediately. On Monday I had a procedure to remove it and sew up my wound. 
  • On Tuesday I had surgery to get a new port on the other side of my chest. On Wednesday I picked up again with my eighth chemo treatment. It has been a full week! 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Having a hole in your chest means you are incredibly exposed and high risk for infection. I have not gotten an infection thus far praise the Lord! Please pray for my wounds to heal properly. 
  • It is miraculous that my infusion treatment was only delayed two days. The surgeries this week were back-to-back, but it is a real blessing because every week is important with stage 4. 
  • This was an unexpected turn of events! We would love your prayers as I recover and as Jenny continues to take care of the family. 

What I am Learning: 

  • I am going to be honest… I did not want to get a new port. The chemo I am on requires a port so that it doesn’t burn up my veins. It is necessary, but I was not looking forward to it again. Discovering the hole in my chest immediately changed the course of the week and there were a lot of unknowns. How long will it take to fix this issue and get the new port? How many days or weeks of treatment might I miss? Will this impact Christmas? What about infection? 
  • The phrase of Scripture that kept coming to my mind was “The Lord is your keeper” from Psalm 121.

 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. (Psalm 121:3–8)

  • I thought about this phrase before my urgent doctor’s appointment. I thought about this phrase as I was on the operating table. I thought about it before I went to sleep. The Lord promises to keep me regardless of what happens, and he promises the same for you!

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • God has been answering prayer. Even when it looked like I could have a delay with my treatment, I was only delayed two days. Thank you for praying! 
  • The Songs of Ascent show God hears his people when they cry out for deliverance. “In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me.” (Psalm 120:1) 
  • The original nativity scene didn’t look picturesque. They couldn’t find room in the city to sleep, they were desperate to have a safe place for Mary to give birth, and they had to resort to putting Jesus into a feeding trough. But God was in total control and working all things together for his majestic glory. We can see how beautiful and wonderful the nativity is because his hand was upon each person and moment.
  • When we trust in Jesus – in his life, death, and resurrection – we can have confidence that he is working all things together for our good and his glory. I am not sure what is taking place in your life right now, but don’t forget to marvel at the wonderful love of Christ this Christmas. Merry Christmas!