Tag: god

Treats, Trust, and Scary Quotes 

Updates: 

  • My treatments are progressing, and I am starting to feel the cumulative effect of them. I feel a bit more tired and a bit more drugged from the chemo. However, there have been great moments this past week in which I have been able to work and spend time with my family. 
  • We are looking forward to making an appearance at Trunk of Treats at our church in an unexpected way. Our kids are stoked and more excited than any year because we plan on having a trunk. We hope to see you there! 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I saw my doctor on Monday after my infusion treatment, and he is encouraged about the reduction in my lymphoma symptoms. For example, months ago, I would wake up 5-6 times per night drenched in sweat (a classic sign of lymphoma). I am now experiencing 1-2 night sweats per week.
  • The biggest prayer request is for this progress to continue. We won’t know how the treatment is doing until late November, but pray the cancer is completely gone before my next PET scan. That would be miraculous! The Lord can do this! 

What I am Learning: 

  • There have been numerous books which have fed my soul since my diagnosis. Perhaps the first one I should mention is the helpful devotional by Jerry Bridges called 31 Days Toward Trusting God. This small book has provided rocks for me to step across in the midst of the flood of suffering. If you have never read it, pick up a copy and let it minister to your soul. 
  • One of the main themes of Bridge’s devotional is the sovereignty of God regardless of the situation. God really is in control. He has always been and will always be. His loving rule of the world doesn’t stop when tragedy strikes. Listen to how the Bible describes God’s reign: 

Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases. (Psalm 115:3)

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men. (Lamentations 3:31–33)

 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:16)

God has numbered our days, and this is good. I can trust God’s care over my life because he has given up his only Son to die in my place. There is not a single cancer cell that is beyond his wisdom, might, and power. I am going to die exactly when God wants me to die – and not a moment sooner. While this truth might be hard to digest, it produces peace and good fruit. 

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • In his helpful little booklet called Don’t Waste Your Cancer, John Piper writes, “You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.” This advice is wise. After all, no matter what happens, we are all going to have to cross the river of death unless Jesus returns. Bob Russell made a similar point in a recent sermon on anxiety. Facing the worst-case scenario can be helpful when we know that God is ultimately in control. It is not enjoyable to look at death in the eyes, but it is amazing to know that we follow in the footsteps of the risen Christ who defeated death.
  • Below are some powerful quotes to help us meet death whenever it should come. I found these quotes from this set of bookmarks in honor of Reformation Day (the same day as Halloween!). 

“Death only frightens those who have their mind exclusively in this world.” -John Calvin, 1509-1564

“Resolved never to do anything which I should be afraid to do if it were the last hour of my life.” -Jonathan Edwards, 1703-1758

“Live in Christ, die in Christ, and the flesh need not fear death.” -John Knox, C. 1514-1572

“I am more afraid of my own heart than of the pope and all his cardinals.” -Martin Luther, 1483-1546

“Let them fear death who do not fear sin.” -Thomas Watson, 1620-1686

“It is not a loss to die. It is a lasting perpetual gain” -Charles Spurgeon, 1834-1892

Waiting

Updates: 

• This past week came with more challenging side effects than I anticipated. After each chemo treatment, I receive a shot that helps boost my depleted immune system. Amazingly, the shot is in a small box they strap on my arm. It is on a timer that administers the medicine right when I need it most. I am very thankful for this shot! However, it can disturb my muscles. It feels like I did an epic workout, and it makes them painful. Or as someone else said, “Your body feels like it is filled with liquid cement.” 

• My doctor told me I would receive another PET scan in late November. That PET scan is important because it will reveal how effective the treatments have (or have not) been. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

• I have carried a lingering cough since January. It got progressively worse until I could not speak publicly for very long without interruption. I want to bless the Lord and praise him because my cough is almost completely gone. I don’t even cough at night. While the doctor has not said it, I am hopeful this is a sign that the cancer in my lungs is shrinking. Please pray this is the case!

• Please also pray for Jenny who is often working double time around the house when I am in bed, unable to help, and she is tending to me.

What I am Learning: 

• The ups and downs of chemo can parallel a patient’s spiritual hills and valleys. Even with encouraging signs of progress, there is a temptation to worry while waiting. For example, I must wait until November to know if my treatments are truly being effective to remove the cancer from my bones, liver, and lungs. Each week I must wait until my bloodwork returns to know if I’m able to proceed with the next infusion. I don’t like this if I am honest. But this waiting is the means God is using to work in me. 

• God ordains circumstances in our lives that are meant to press us further into dependance upon Christ. God uses waiting to help us walk by faith. Between now and my next appointment I am called by God to submit to his plan for my life. When we are forced to wait, we will either worry or we will worship.

“I bear my witness that the worst days I have ever had have turned out to be my best days. And when God has seemed most cruel to me, he has then been most kind. If there is anything in this world for which I would bless him more than for anything else, it is for pain and affliction. I am sure that in these things the richest, tenderest love has been manifested to me. Our Father’s wagons rumble most heavily when they are bringing us the richest freight of the bullion of his grace.” Charles Spurgeon (June 26, 1881)

• Are you waiting for something? What you do in the meantime is more important than whatever it is you are anticipating. Christ lovingly wants us to wait on him by looking to him at all times. 

What Has Been Encouraging: 

• I have been reading a Psalm of Ascent each day. The Songs of Ascent are Psalms 120-134. Consider the power of Psalm 123:1-3 for the suffering soul. It is a Psalm about waiting upon the Lord – desperately. Read how many times it mentions “eyes” looking for help and then notice how many times it mentions the word “mercy.” 

To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master, as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he has mercy upon us. Have mercy upon us, O LORD, have mercy upon us, for we have had more than enough of contempt. 

• As believers, we can wait on the Lord by making this Psalm our prayer. Pray something like this: “O God! We are only going to look to you! We are looking nowhere else for our help. We need you and won’t stop looking to you until you act. We don’t deserve help but know you are kind. Have mercy upon us! Have mercy upon us Lord. Have mercy upon us.”

• I have been greatly helped by the devotional books In the Lord I Take Refuge: 150 Daily Devotions through the Psalms by Dane Ortlund and Psalms by the Day: A New Devotional Translation by Alec Motyer. If you can only buy one of them, buy In the Lord I Take Refuge. If you have Ortlund’s book and want to go deeper, don’t miss Motyer’s devotional. It is unique and will instruct your soul. 

Hair, Hats, and Holiness

Updates: 

  • I have now completed 2 out of 12 chemo treatments.
  • We are now at the point in treatment in which I lose my hair. It started falling out in chunks this week. It is a rather bizarre experience, so we decided to go ahead and give my head a close shave. The next time you see me you might not recognize me, or you will likely find me in a hat! 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • My symptoms have been more mild than last week (fewer mouth sores, more energy, etc.). This is a direct answer to prayer. Thank you! 
  • I was previously losing weight, but now I’m gaining weight. This is a real blessing and gift from the Lord! 
  • Please pray that all my treatments are on time and not delayed by any sickness in the coming weeks. 

What I am Learning: 

  • I have been struck by how God uses suffering to teach Christians the most important truths. God is refining me through this process to seek him instead of being “too busy” to ignore him.

“Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. You are good and do good; teach me your statutes.” (Psalm 119:67–68).

  • Facing the darkness that comes with cancer has shone a light on how many pitiful excuses I had for neglecting unhurried time with the Lord. What really matters most in this life? It is knowing God and communing with him. 

“We must learn to measure ourselves not by our knowledge about God, not by our gifts and responsibilities in the church, but by how we pray and what goes on in our hearts. Many of us, I suspect, have no idea how impoverished we are at this level. Let us ask the Lord to show us.” (Knowing God, JI Packer, 23)

  • You might not have cancer, but I would ask you to consider your own schedule and priorities. Do you spend time seeking the Lord in prayer and by reading the Bible? Or is there always something that is more important? Cancer is a good reminder that nothing is more important than holiness.

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • This might sound strange, but I have been encouraged by purchasing new hats. Since my hair is now going through a bit of a rough transformation, I have decided to embrace the hat life for the next few months. I’ll indulge myself by telling you about two of my favorites picks: 
  • I picked out a Joshua Tree hat, which is a National Park in California. The Perrons have a family goal to visit as many national parks as possible before our kids graduate. This park is on our list, and I like being reminded that we will be able to visit it one day after I’m cleared for travel. The trees in the park are called Joshua Trees because they look as if they are lifting their hands up to God in prayer. 
  • I also have a navy hat with a skeleton holding up a lantern. It reads “Post tenebras lux.” That is Latin for “After Darkness, Light.” This was a reoccurring motto of the Protestant Reformation. The Catholic church had suppressed the Scripture for many years until God worked through reformers like Tyndale, Luther, and Calvin. An explosion of revival took place as the true good news of salvation through Jesus spread far and wide. We are saved by grace, not by our good deeds (Ephesians 2:8-9)!
  • Post tenebras lux is paradigmatic of how God works in the world. There is dark before the dawn. But God is light and no darkness can overpower him. 

“All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:3–5