Dear Young Engaged Man,
I hope you have not bought into the false idea that the season of engagement is a form of hell. Instead of enjoying engagement and using it to grow in godliness, many people waste the engaged portion of their life because they view it as a hindrance and a necessary obstacle to marriage.
We’ve both talked about how marriage is good and perpetual engagement is not. However, I can’t help but notice that discontentment has given you a low grade fever and even made those around you miserable.
Too many single folks pass their days wishing they were married. There are a lot of single people wishing they were married people.
Girls can dream of their wedding day by pinning all manner of things on their social media just in case they happen upon a relationship tomorrow. All the while, the guys spend their time twiddling their thumbs to line up a perfect timeline for the next potential candidate.
Whether people are hanging paper lights on a virtual alter or calculating the perfect proposal for the mystery Mrs., contentment is the missing variable from the equation.
Now the irony here is that I know married people who are just as restless in their dreams. Believe it or not, I have had married friends tell me they wish they were single because they could have more time to read, study, serve, and spend for the kingdom. Yet the greatest irony is that those restless married people were just as restless when they were engaged!
Notice the inevitable cycle: those discontent singles become discontent marrieds. Engagement just happens to be the canal in between. You must stop the cycle before you reach the other sea.
“I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13)
Brother, do not forget that you need contentment most when everything seems to be going your way. Whether you are sky high on the thought of engagement, or in the thrills of marriage, you need contentment just as much as when you are sunken low in the shafts of singleness. Contentment in Christ needs to make its way into every crevice of every circumstance.
Regardless of the ringing of wedding bells or the hollow echo of loneliness, I encourage you to lay hold of the strength of Jesus to be content in Him. Circumstances should not change contentment.
What is the secret to a happy life? Realizing that everything you have and need is found in Christ alone. The happiest people in life are not single or married. The happiest people in life are those who seize each season for the glory of God. The grass is greenest where we graze upon God.
May you enjoy each season to the fullest by enjoying God to the highest.
Until then,
Sean
Unspoken 