Tag: health

15 Observations from a Cancer Center

Updates:

  • We are now in a mold-free apartment!
  • I continue my chemo treatments with mild side effects. However, I am nauseous most evenings.
  • This past week was my physical therapy evaluation. I’ve made substantial progress!

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • We are very thankful to be in a mold-free place. Two mold companies had pity on us and conducted two different mold tests for free. It’s a real blessing to be together as a family now.
  • When I started physical therapy, I didn’t think I could walk for six minutes using a walker. Now, I’m able to walk on a treadmill for ten minutes. I received a good report on my reassessment, but my therapists want me to continue training through the month of July.
  • I still haven’t experienced a significant allergic reaction to my new chemo. I’m very grateful for this — please pray that it continues!

What I’m Learning

While receiving treatment, I decided to journal some simple observations. I’ve collected 25 reflections based on what I’ve noticed at the cancer center. Below are 15 of them.

Consider these thoughts written in the spirit of the book of Proverbs. Some are generally meaningful; others are more niche. They’re listed in no particular order — just as they came to me:

  1. There is always someone worse off than you.
  2. The amount of sacrifice Jenny has given is untold — and cannot be properly retold.
  3. When people tell me I am “strong,” they misunderstand the situation.
  4. Not all stem cell transplants are created equal.
  5. “Where you go first matters.” – M.D. Anderson
  6. Facing an unknown future will either increase faith or cause it to buckle.
  7. One hallway in a cancer center may be filled with rejoicing, another with weeping.
  8. Bedside manner boosts confidence in medicine, just as “sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”
  9. These are the moments why I married Jenny: not for her beauty, but for her evergreen and ever-serving love.
  10. Suffering should lead its students to depend continually on the Lord.
  11. All my allergic reactions remind me of my frailty — and God’s faithfulness.
  12. A well-timed — and love-motivated — question can open a relationship and change a life. (Theo of Golden)
  13. I visited three cancer centers to try to save my life. The most aesthetically pleasing campus nearly cost me it. The ugliest one may have the greatest chance at saving it. A center’s attractive appearance only matters if it works.
  14. The storms of life are meant to remove the dead branches of self-reliance so we can depend more fully on Christ. (Spurgeon)
  15. “People everywhere love fountains.” (Theo of Golden)

What Has Been Encouraging

  • This week back home was “Glow Camp” at First Baptist. Our kids are big fans every year, and we were disappointed to miss it. But even though we’re in Houston, some kind and clever folks at FBC made sure to include our children.
  • Our kids were able to FaceTime into many of the assemblies and teaching sessions. We even had two of the main stage pirate characters visit our house and leave a secret message on our security doorbell! The kids felt so included, they asked to make a poster on poster day. What a blessing!

“And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)

Screenshot
Screenshot

“The Stars Have Aligned”

Updates

  • I reached the stem cell collection goal and have been cleared for transplant to start next week!
  • I have been released from the hospital after experiencing a serious allergic reaction during a minor surgery.
  • Chemo has started, and “high-intensity chemo” begins on Wednesday of next week.

Prayer Requests and Praises

  • This week was a wild one for us. My stem cell collection was proceeding slower than anticipated due to allergic reactions to a particular shot used to stimulate white blood cells. My goal was “5 million cells” (which is actually five million per kilogram I weigh, totaling over 300,000,000 cells), and I was lagging. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big problem, but the doctor told me it would delay my transplant start date by seven days. This was concerning because my cancer is so aggressive that even a week’s delay could allow the cancer cells more time to fester and grow. Neither we nor my doctor wanted that to happen.
  • A real answer to prayer occurred on Thursday when the doctor signed off for me to proceed. He said I would meet the necessary cell collection goal by the end of the day. This means the high-intensity chemo won’t be delayed! Appointments were immediately lined up for surgery to remove my stem cell collection device and replace it with the high-intensity chemo catheter.

The exact words we were told: “Multiple stars had to align for you to get that, and it just happened.”
Praise the Lord! As many of you have pointed out, it wasn’t the stars, but rather the Creator who made the stars — not random chance, but divine providence.

  • Things are now moving quickly, and I have begun chemotherapy treatment. Please pray for no more allergic reactions and for minimal (or no!) side effects.

What I Am Learning

  • The same day I received the great news about reaching the cell collection goal, I later experienced an intense allergic reaction during a minor surgery. They believe it was likely due to the numbing medication given at the start of the procedure. My breathing became difficult, and I was experiencing chest discomfort — all while my whole body turned as red as a hot pepper. I was awake during the procedure (under a very hot blue tarp!) and was quickly rushed to the ER and stabilized.
  • I am thankful to God that He preserved my life and gave me clarity of mind during the procedure to communicate with the many doctors and nurses working to help me. I admit I was becoming anxious during this ordeal but thought about Philippians 4:8-9. That passage speaks about dwelling on things that are good, lovely, right, and true. I thought about the key people God has placed in my life to care for me — Jenny, my parents, my kids, and individuals from First Baptist Church. I thought about deacons and staff members I work with who have shown us the love of Christ in extraordinary ways. God has truly blessed me and my family with great Christian fellowship that continues to sustain me even in urgent situations.


“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable — if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise — think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8–9)

I will extol you, O LORD, for you have drawn me up
and have not let my foes rejoice over me.
O LORD my God, I cried to you for help,
and you have healed me. (Psalm 30:1–2)

What Has Been Encouraging

  • I have repeatedly thought about my family this week. In this blog, I want to highlight the constant love and support from my mom and dad. Our original plan was to spend the weeks in Houston leading up to transplant with our children, and then have my parents take over during my isolation period. That plan changed. My entire life I had never had any allergic reactions, but they began during my immunotherapy treatments back in March. Due to these allergic reactions, it became necessary for me to spend the past two weeks on campus at the hospital. My parents were thrown into 24/7 babysitting — and they rose to the occasion. They took care of me growing up, and now they are taking care of me through cancer by taking care of our kids.
  • Below is one of my new favorite pictures. It shows my whole family visiting me while I’ve been restricted to the hospital campus. They are leaving the property holding hands, and I am so grateful for their tireless effort to support me during this trial!

A Big Week: Cleared for Transplant

Updates:

  • My PET scan shows I am in remission! It’s hard to express just how incredible this news is. So many people have been praying for this moment, and from a human perspective, I should not be in complete remission.
  • Even though there are no traceable signs of cancer on my PET scan, it is still imperative that I proceed with the transplant. This is because a PET scan cannot detect cancerous cells below a certain threshold. My cancer is very aggressive, and I likely still have microscopic cancer cells that will return unless they are eradicated.
  • The transplant process is essential for a cure. I will receive a full week of high-intensity chemo that kills cancer cells at the base level. This chemo is so strong it will destroy my bone marrow. That’s why I need the transplant—it doesn’t kill the cancer itself but is necessary to save my life after the chemo does its work.
  • I’ve begun the stem cell production process! Things are moving quickly because any remaining cancer cells that escaped detection on the PET scan can grow fast, and we don’t want to give them the chance. For four days, I’ll receive medication to stimulate the production of stem cells for collection. Today, I had surgery to insert a device necessary for the transplant.
  • I’m still experiencing mild reactions to the drugs in my body and must remain on the hospital campus for monitoring, in case of a severe flare-up.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Thank God for a clear PET scan. I still can hardly believe it. This was crucial to the next steps, and we are amazed at God’s kindness to us.
  • I’m having mild allergic reactions daily. I’m on several medications to reduce their severity, but please pray they stop altogether.
  • Stem cell collection starts next week! Due to my allergic reactions, they’re using an alternative drug to stimulate my cells. This drug can take longer to produce enough white blood cells for collection. Please pray that it works efficiently and my body produces enough cells quickly—so I can begin the high-intensity chemo as soon as possible and prevent any new cancer growth in the meantime.

What I’m Learning:

  • This has been a big week for our family. Receiving the surprising news about the PET scan is such a gift from God and has set the course of our lives for the coming weeks. It hasn’t gone unnoticed that this all took place during Holy Week—a time when we remember the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus for sinners. It was the most important week in all of human history, and Jesus alone has sustained us through this trial.
  • If I could share one thing with you this Easter, it would be this five minute video:

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • As I reflect on this week, I’m thankful for many things—but two stand out in particular. First, my wife Jenny. She has been constantly caring for me, pouring out her love daily as I face various needs during this illness. In sickness and in health, her love remains steady and vibrant. I’m so grateful to be on this journey with her.
  • Second, the people of First Baptist Church. The Sunday before we flew out to Texas, our church held a prayer service for me and my family. I couldn’t attend because I was in the hospital, but I was able to watch part of the service online. I am confident that God heard their prayers that night and removed the cancer from my chest because of the faithful prayers of the saints. I am so thankful.

“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!”

(Psalm 30:11–12)

Packing!

Updates

  • I completed my fourth round of “salvage chemo” this week.
  • We leave next week to fly to Houston, where we plan to stay for three months for my bone marrow transplant. I wanted to share a few more details about the transplant process, as some have asked.
    This will be an autologous transplant, meaning it will use my own stem cells. I will not be receiving cells from a donor. That’s good news—using donor cells comes with the risk of my body rejecting them, which can be life-threatening.
  • Once my stem cells are harvested, I will receive a week of incredibly high-powered chemotherapy, which will (God willing) kill the remaining cancer cells.
    It’s important to note that it’s not the transplant itself that kills the microscopic cancer cells in my blood—it’s the chemo. However, the chemo is so intense that it also destroys my bone marrow. That’s why the transplant is necessary—to “rescue” my bone marrow and restart my immune system.

Prayer Requests and Praises

  • The main prayer request is for the cancer mass to be completely gone. In order for the transplant to proceed, I must be in remission.
  • I’m thankful to have completed all of my scheduled chemo treatments here in Jacksonville. Now, we officially await the next phase of treatment in Houston.
  • Please pray for our family—especially Jenny, who is leading the charge while I’m sick from chemo—as we prepare and pack. It’s still hard to believe this journey is actually happening!

What I’ve Been Learning

  • I’m learning to trust the Lord more fully. There are days when my faith is strong and others when it feels weaker. But the Lord isn’t surprised by that. He promises to “hold me fast” through the storms of trial.
  • Each night we pray with our kids, and last night we focused on Proverbs 3:5–6:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.”
(Proverbs 3:5–6)

The Lord invites us to trust Him completely—and suffering, hard as it is, can be a way to deepen that trust.

  • God’s wisdom and plan for my life are best. It’s a very good thing I’m not in charge. I am not—and never have been—the author of my life.
    God is writing each of our stories for His glory and our good. There is peace in surrendering to that, and trusting Him to “bring to completion” the work He has begun.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
(Isaiah 55:8–9)

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you
will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
(Philippians 1:6)

What Has Been Encouraging

  • As we pack for our trip, we’re bringing along a few essentials—like books!
    I’m not sure how I’ll feel during the hospital stay, but I want to be prepared in case I’m able to read.
    Some of these books have been on my list for a long time, while others seem especially fitting for this season.
  • Many of them are devotionals or have short chapters, to increase the odds I can work through them slowly.
    If you spot one you like below, feel free to pick it up and let me know what you think—maybe it can be part of your summer reading too!

From the Lord

Updates: 

  • A lot has transpired since my last update! We have spent the week connecting with lymphoma specialists from around the country. Jenny and I even took a trip to Houston to visit the main campus of MD Anderson.
  • My open lung biopsy came back with results indicating that I have Primary Refractory Classical Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. This means my previous treatment plan was unsuccessful and my cancer is more aggressive than originally thought.
  • I will be changing treatment facilities and seeing a local lymphoma specialist due to the more unique nature of my case. My new treatment plan will include six weeks of “high-intensity chemo” to prepare me for a bone marrow transplant. Every doctor I’ve spoken with believes I need a bone marrow transplant. I will begin my new chemo treatment ASAP.
  • Several people have wondered why my open lung biopsy was just a biopsy and didn’t remove the growing mass completely. The answer is that the mass is not the primary issue. Lymphoma is a blood cancer. Even if the mass were removed, the cancer would still be present and would simply relocate to another area in my body. The goal of this new round of chemotherapy is to eradicate the mass by killing every cancer cell in my body. The aim is to attack the cancer at the cellular level instead of superficially.

Prayer Requests and Praises: 

  • We are grateful for the clarity provided by the recent biopsy. My surgeon was excellent, and the procedure was crucial for informing the next phase of my treatment plan. We praise God for this!
  • This next phase of treatment is very important, and we need the Lord’s help. The doctors believe there is still a possibility of a cure with a successful transplant. We are grateful there remains a good treatment option! But the Lord is more important than what any doctor thinks or predicts. My family and I would ask that you pray for us during the next several weeks, that God would cure me of this illness. Please pray my body will have strength this next week for the chemo – especially after my recent biopsy as I am still recovering.

What I am Learning: 

  • While it is good that my biopsy was conclusive, it is hard to hear that my mass is cancerous. We had originally planned on receiving two more treatments to complete my original twelve and then be in the clear. We are now entering a more difficult phase than we initially expected. I have had various responses and reflections since receiving the news about my mass. The most important one is that I must confess with Job: “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” (Job 2:10)
  • The Lord is the Lord, and He is in total control of my life. Our God is in the heavens, and He does all that He pleases (Psalm 115:3). Every twist and turn of my life is ordained by Him and under His sovereign care. Jesus did not stop loving me when I got lymphoma, nor when I realized it was refractory lymphoma. The Lord is kind and faithful to my family, regardless of hard news. He will continue to “keep” my life “from this time forth and forevermore” (Psalm 121). I am confident of this because Jesus died for my sins and rose from the grave victoriously. “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32).

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • My wife is the very best. As we traveled to Houston, she took care of everything. She brought all our medical files, bags, and gear with us. I was completely useless traveling because I am not allowed to lift anything due to my recent surgery.
  • Jenny faithfully and joyfully took care of me, and we had a great time. No one wants to travel to a different city for cancer care, but it was our first trip since I was diagnosed. I am so blessed by the Lord to have a wife who is committed “in sickness and in health!”

Ps. I have been locked out of my Facebook account because I don’t currently look like the photo ID that Facebook has on file (due to chemo). I have tried everything to get back into my account and discovered that Meta is notoriously difficult with customer service for individuals in my situation. I will continue to persist. For now, the best way to get updates is via email from this blog. So sorry!

Cancer is My Servant

Updates: 

  • My next infusion is on Monday, and it will mark the halfway point for my treatment plan. After next week, I have six more treatments between now and March 1st. 
  • Fatigue continues to increase with each treatment. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I am thankful that I have not missed an infusion treatment thus far! Praise the Lord! 
  • My upcoming PET scan is on November 22nd, and it will show us how effective the treatment has been. 
  • I have continued to have lingering night sweats which is a side effect of lymphoma. Please pray these go away! 

What I am Learning: 

  • Since my diagnosis, my future now includes cancer and the possibility of life or death. Yet Christ is my master, and therefore, cancer is my servant. This disease is a servant to me and makes me look more glorious than ever.  

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen…” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18)

  • With each round of chemotherapy, I am a victor through Jesus. It is the Christian alone who can have cancer be his personal washbasin to sanctify him more fully. Though my skin might look pale after treatment, I am more radiant than ever before. My rash-adorned head is fitting me for a crown of splendor.
  • To say it clearly, cancer will never beat me. No matter what happens – whether in life or death – Christ will win. And it will be a landslide victory. Not because I am strong, quite the opposite! I am weaker than ever with this sickness. But in my weakness, Christ is mighty (2 Corinthians 12:9).

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. [38] For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, [39] nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:37–39)

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • I mentioned previously that I am memorizing the Songs of Ascent. One way I am seeking to accomplish this is by understanding the point of each Psalm. If I can recall a main theme of each, it helps me know the order of the songs. 
  • A helpful tool that is aiding me in the process is the songs produced by Poor Bishop Hooper. Below are links to each of the Songs of Ascent put to music. Perhaps their rendition isn’t your favorite style, but if you listen to their songs on repeat, you will be surprised how much it shapes your mind. May peace be upon Israel as you sing! 

Songs of Ascent (from EveryPsalm) by Poor BishopHooper

  1. Psalm 120
  2. Psalm 121
  3. Psalm 122
  4. Psalm 123
  5. Psalm 124
  6. Psalm 125
  7. Psalm 126 | see also the Passion version of this Psalm
  8. Psalm 127 | We love the Trinity Psalter version of this Psalm with every verse included
  9. Psalm 128 | see also the Trinity Psalter version
  10. Psalm 129
  11. Psalm 130
  12. Psalm 131
  13. Psalm 132
  14. Psalm 133
  15. Psalm 134

Round Five + Recommendations

Updates: 

  • I received my fifth treatment this past Monday and it was difficult. Each week is going to get tougher they say, and I believe them! 
  • My doctor has scheduled my next PET scan for November 22nd. This is the event we have been anticipating as it will show whether my treatment plan is working. 

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray all the cancer is gone by November 22nd and the PET scan results come back clear! This would be a wonderful work of the Lord. 
  • As I anticipate my upcoming infusion treatments, pray that I would have the right frame of mind, and the Lord would strengthen my body as they put the life-saving poison through me. 

What I am Learning: 

  • People talk about the “shadow” that cancer can bring into someone’s life. It is a shadow that can loom over every day as you await results, live in between treatments, and go year after year wondering if the cancer will return. Living in the shadow of cancer is no way to live. It is not how the Christian ought to think. Instead, we can live in the shadow of his wings even when we walk through the valleys of the shadow of death. 

            He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1–2)

     Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

  • I have been strengthened through a devotional called My Only Comfort that Jenny and I read almost every night. Here is a section from Lord’s Day 1 that is relevant for entrusting my soul and body to the Lord despite the dark shades of cancer. 

“My only comfort in life and in death is that I, with body and soul, both in life and in death, am not my own, -but belong to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ, who with his precious blood has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that, without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head— yea, that all things must work together for my salvation; and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, he also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready henceforth to live unto him.”

What Has Been Encouraging: 

Due to my fatigue and sickness, I am not able to play with our kids like normal. So, a highlight of my day has been when we have “teatime” (often just juice or milk) and read a book together. We are trying to make our way through most of the Caldecott medal winners between now and February. For those of you with younger kids, here are ten of our current fan favorites: 

  1. Hello Lighthouse by Blackall 
  2. Madeline’s Rescue by Bemelmans
  3. Crispin’s Rainy Day by Dickison
  4. This Is Not My Hat by Klassen
  5. We Found a Hat by Klassen
  6. Read Aloud Bible Stories Volume 1 by Lindvall
  7. The Lion and The Mouse by Pinkney
  8. What Are Eyes For? By Wedgeworth 
  9. God Cares for Me by Wetherell
  10. The House in the Night by Swanson

Worse Than Cancer

Updates: 

  • I am grateful to have gotten my third treatment of chemo this week before Hurricane Milton arrived. Additionally, it is good to hear the rain while you are in bed recovering! Thankfully, we did not sustain any damage and are praying for those who have been impacted.
  • Each week I receive a chemo drug that has been nick named “The Red Devil.” This is a strong drug that must be administered by hand instead of through the normal IV machine. I have done well with the drug, but this time, it was more difficult. I was quite nauseous, and I anticipate I’m going to have to “gird up my loins” for the next round. The metal taste it produces is memorable!

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I am thankful that my treatments have not been delayed. Someone told me they were praying my treatments would “be on time, every time” for all twelve of them. This is a great prayer. 
  • Since June, I have had a swollen lymph node on my neck. It has been noticeable to medical staff, but since my chemo treatments began, it has nearly vanished! In fact, the physician assistant who examined me this past time said she could not find it. This is a good sign the chemo is working. Please pray this happens to all the lymph nodes throughout my body and where the cancer has progressed into stage four. 

What I am Learning: 

  • I have learned the greatest threat to my life is not cancer. There is something worse than cancer: sin. The worst thing cancer can do is shrivel up my body until it physically dies. Sin is far worse. Sin shrivels up the soul unto an eternal death. 

“For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:20–23

  • Jesus Christ died for me and has forgiven me of my sin. However, Christians should never downplay sin or treat it lightly. The real Satan (not the red devil) is seeking to devour all of us (1 Peter 5:8). The Scriptures repeatedly tell us to flee sin and pray for deliverance from temptation.

“Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:12 

“Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.” Hebrews 3:12–14

  • I have made a list of areas of spiritual growth that I need the Lord to sanctify me in during my remaining treatments. That growth is more important than the growth of my cancer cells. Have you considered where you are being tempted lately? What areas of your spiritual life need to be addressed directly in these upcoming days and weeks? Don’t delay. Make a list, confess where you have fallen short, ask God’s forgiveness, believe Christ will change you through his death and resurrection, and read the Bible attentively.

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • Sometimes a sentence lingers and leaves an impact. I have received encouraging text messages with memorable quotes. Here are three of them:

“The Lord permits us to feel our weakness, that we may be sensible of it; for though we are ready in words to confess that we are weak, we do not so properly know it, till that secret, though unallowed, dependence we have upon some strength in ourselves is brought to the trial, and fails us. To be humble, and, like a little child, afraid of taking a step alone, and so conscious of snares and dangers around us, as to cry to him continually to hold us up that we may be safe, is the sure, the infallible, the only secret of walking closely with him.” (John Newton)

“There is never a crook God makes in our lot, but it is in effect heaven’s offer of a blest exchange to us…God first puts out his hand, and takes away some earthly thing from us; and it is expected we put out our hand next, and take some heavenly thing from him in the stead of it, and particularly, his Christ.” (Thomas Boston, The Crook In The Lot, 48)

“Trust is not a passive state of mind, but a vigorous act of the soul, by which we choose to lay hold of the promises of God and cling to them despite the adversity that at times seeks to overwhelm us.” (Jerry Bridges, Trusting God, 216)