Dear Sister in Christ,
I feel a freedom to talk about this with you because we have much in common. Indeed, we have been purchased by the blood of Jesus and made eternal heirs with the Father. It delights my heart to know we will dance together in heaven and rejoice in the presence of Christ.
Although we are related through kinship with Christ, we do not come from an immediate physical family. Our parents are different and we have not grown up in the same home. This is not a bad thing, but it does mean things are different for us. There is always a potential sexual attraction that could develop.
Thankfully, God wired men and women to be attracted to each other. This certainly is a wonderful thing! But as you know, it does become a problem when attraction is inappropriate. Magnifying sexual appeal is only proper in a specific channel. God designed sexuality to be exhibited between a husband and wife – and no more. God created sexual beauty and he designed it to be magnified in the marriage bed.
I am writing because I am afraid that some are magnifying sexual beauty in ways that are inappropriate. Immodesty is magnifying the wrong thing. I am concerned that this is bringing shame upon many in our family and upon the name of our Father. I know how much you long to honor God and I know many sisters are not intending to draw attention to themselves in sexual ways.
Our sisters should know that how they dress does impact the way brothers think of them. If a woman wears a low-cut shirt, it communicates something that should only be expressed in the house of marriage. Short skirts, tight shirts, and other clothing can be an avenue of lust for brothers to stroll down. Immodesty – knowingly or unknowingly – has the potential to allure the eyes of men into a path that ultimately leads to destruction.
I feel freedom to express these concerns because our lives are not our own. Our bodies have been bought with a price and this means we cannot dress anyway we want (1 Corinthians 6:20). Each day is an opportunity to magnify the broken body of Christ instead of our own.
Would you join me in telling our other sisters about these concerns? Perhaps some questions to ask when choosing an outfit would be helpful. Here are some questions I have compiled:
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Does this draw attention to my body in a sexual way?
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Does this make me stand out in a way that is inappropriate?
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Does this outfit serve those who I will be around today or is it self serving?
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If I am not sure about this attire, who can I ask who will be honest with me?
I realize this request may come with some costs. It may be harder to purchase clothes that are in style or it may require you to stick out like a sore thumb at the local pool. It may require extra time shopping or more preparation in the morning. However, I am certain the benefits will outway the cons. I desire precious inner beauty to shine brighter than ever before. Sisters have a God-endowed image that should readily be made available for all with eyes to see (1 Timothy 2:9-10). As sisters grow in godliness and magnify Christ, this will cause unspoken thanksgiving to stir in the hearts of their brothers. They will be noticed and it will not be because of their physical qualities. They will daily pursue treasure in heaven where wrinkles and sags will not destroy. Immodesty is a magnification of the wrong thing, but modesty can magnify the right thing – a pure love for Christ.
I ask these things of you so that our joy may be complete and so that our spiritual family may grow into maturity. Please help me share these things with those we love. As brothers, we should take responsibility for any impure thoughts, but we will be grateful for any effort in keeping us from evil (Proverbs 31:12). Thank you for your care and I hope to see you soon.
Sincerely,
Sean
Unspoken 