Dancing through the Minefields

This week marks six months since my bone marrow transplant (and 15 months since diagnosis). My PET scan shows that my cancer is still in remission. This is a huge praise. 

In addition to this good news, my latest echocardiogram shows that my heart is doing well. This means the heart failure I experienced during transplant was likely circumstantial instead of chronic. This is great news. I have to return again to Houston in three months for more immunity shots and another PET scan. Please continue to pray the cancer stays away. You can watch our video update here.

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! (Psalm 107:1)

My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being! (Psalm 108:1)

The transplant brought numerous trials that we never expected. Through it all, Jenny has been by my side. She was with me in the worst moments and cared for me in countless ways. Whether it was reading Scripture out loud when I was anxious or helping me as my skin burned off, she was there. God is my very present help in times of need and one way he has been present is through Jenny. 

We took Christmas photos early this year. While taking photos, Jenny and I were able to dance at the Jacksonville Arboretum. Back in May, I could not walk without Jenny holding me up. But today I’m able to dance and twirl her around. Our hearts are filled with gratitude to God to make this possible. We believe each day is a gift from Jesus. 

To all our friends and family, thank you for your prayers and being with us on this journey. 

Jenny, I’m so glad I can continue dancing with you through the minefields.

Photo Credit: Victoria Hope Waters

Normal Isn’t the Right Word

Updates:

  • Yesterday I received my chemo infusion here in Jacksonville. I’m thankful to be alive and home!
  • It will take time to know if the bone marrow transplant was effective. That requires a PET scan about every three months.
  • My next scan is in August. I’ll be taking a break from weekly blogging about our journey and will only provide updates for big events, such as scans or complications.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Jenny and I are incredibly thankful for all your prayers over the past year. We have two remaining requests for the months ahead:
    1. That my chemo treatments would destroy any remaining cancer following the transplant. Please pray that I will live to see my children’s children.
    2. That my immunity would continue to increase and that I would avoid sickness. I’m not afraid of the hospital, but it does make things more complicated.
  • I will be heavily immunocompromised until the end of 2025, and then it will take six more months for my system to return to a normal level.

What I Am Learning:

  • I’m grateful to the Lord that I was able to preach on Sunday. I didn’t feel well that morning, but the Lord strengthened me and answered your prayers. While preaching, I honestly forgot I was sick. I crashed later that day, but it was such a blessing to be back at First Baptist.

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • This past year has caused us to think about death more often than usual. It has sharpened our hearts and made us want to spend our time on what matters most.
  • Since being home, I have experienced many encouraging moments—like returning to church, taking evening walks with Jenny, reading books to our children, and seeing dear friends.
  • While it will take months for me to return to “normal,” it’s our hope that we are never normal again when it comes to cherishing the precious gifts God has given us.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O LORD! How long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands! (Psalm 90:12–17)

Heading Home

Updates:

  • Today was my last day of doctor appointments in Houston before heading home next week. I have swelling in my arms, legs, and face that is mysterious but will not prevent me from traveling.
  • We have started packing!

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • We are planning to return to Jacksonville! Praise the Lord!
  • For some reason, I continue to retain water. My medical team is monitoring this, but please pray that it ceases. It’s likely a side effect of the transplant and my current chemotherapy.
  • Lord willing, I will be preaching at First Baptist on July 20th. We would love to see you there!

What I Am Learning

  • Last week, I mentioned that I’ve been reading about Hezekiah in the book of Isaiah. There’s a story in which he and Jerusalem are surrounded by the Assyrian army. Hezekiah receives several messages from the enemy, yet he turns to God in prayer for deliverance.
  • One of the ways God answers his prayer is by sending the angel of the Lord to slay the Assyrian army in the night. It was a miraculous, surprise attack.

“For I will defend this city to save it, for my own sake and for the sake of my servant David.” And the angel of the LORD went out and struck down 185,000 in the camp of the Assyrians. And when people arose early in the morning, behold, these were all dead bodies. Then Sennacherib king of Assyria departed and returned home and lived at Nineveh. (Isaiah 37:35–37)

  • God could have chosen any method to destroy His enemies, but He chose to send the angel of the Lord. This is the same angel who surrounds God’s people today. As Christians, we inherit the promises of Psalm 34:

This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them. (Psalm 34:6–7)

  • Hezekiah knew the Psalms. He humbled himself as a poor man, and the Lord delivered him using the very angel mentioned in Psalm 34:7. God will do the same for us today if we turn to Him in faith.

What Has Been Encouraging

  • As we reflect on the past three months, it’s clear we have not walked this journey alone. The Lord has been with us, and He has given us the body of Christ to care for us at every turn.
  • First Baptist Church members have supported us, prayed for us, and stayed in touch through these tumultuous weeks. Our story is their story—they have walked through the fire with us. The kindness we have experienced is overwhelming. We are eager to return!
  • Local churches in Houston have also come alongside us in humbling ways. Some didn’t even know us, yet they loved and served us as if we were members of their own congregations.
  • Jenny and I slipped into a chapel service at MD Anderson this past week. It was a short service between appointments. As we stood at the door, we saw my primary doctor enter the chapel. We quietly sat down beside him as the Scripture was being read. It was a wonderful moment as we prayed together, knowing we both need the Lord’s help.
  • The community of the saints is one of the great blessings of life. If you’ve stumbled upon this blog and aren’t connected to a local church—don’t miss out! Plan to attend a Bible-preaching church this Sunday. You just might be surprised by how wonderful it can be.

The Black Sky of Suffering

Updates:

  • I just received my second chemo treatment here in Houston and, Lord willing, plan to have my next infusion in Jacksonville.
  • My next PET scan is scheduled for August 14th. It will mark 100 days since my transplant.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • We are eager to return to Jacksonville! Please pray that nothing hinders this return.
  • For some reason, I am retaining water and experiencing swelling in my face, arms, and legs. My medical team is monitoring this, but please pray that it ceases.
  • I still have not experienced a significant allergic reaction to my new chemo. Praise the Lord!

What I Am Learning

  • At night, I’ve been reading about Hezekiah from the book of Isaiah. There’s a story where he and Jerusalem are surrounded by the Assyrian army. Hezekiah receives several messages from the enemy claiming they are fully capable of them.
  • Upon receiving a chilling letter from the Assyrians, Hezekiah recognizes his plight and turns to the Lord:

Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers and read it. Then Hezekiah went up to the house of the Lord and spread it before the Lord. And Hezekiah prayed to the Lord:

“O Lord of hosts, God of Israel, enthroned above the cherubim, you are the God—you alone—of all the kingdoms of the earth; you have made heaven and earth.

Incline your ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; and hear all the words of Sennacherib, which he has sent to mock the living God.

Truly, O Lord, the kings of Assyria have laid waste all the nations and their lands, and have cast their gods into the fire. For they were no gods, but the work of men’s hands, wood and stone. Therefore they were destroyed.

So now, O Lord our God, save us from his hand, that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you alone are the Lord.”
— Isaiah 37:14–20

  • I love how Hezekiah spreads out the letter of certain death before God and gives it over to Him. He turns to the Lord, prays, and trusts God to save. These steps outline the same path we must take when we are in trouble. We must lift our eyes to the hills, where our help comes from—the Maker of heaven and earth (See also Psalm 121).
  • If you’ve never read the full story, start in Isaiah 36. See how God miraculously delivers His people when Hezekiah calls upon His name. God hears our prayers—and yet, He makes an even better promise than the one found in Isaiah 36–37. Jesus offers eternal salvation through His life and death to everyone who calls upon His name:

And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
— Acts 2:21


What Has Been Encouraging

  • Last night was the Fourth of July, and we let our kids stay up late to watch the fireworks. We watched from the rooftop of a building downtown in the medical center. I could see many hospital offices and emergency departments—the med center has 21 hospitals.
  • As we stood watching, Jenny and I reflected on how I had been in the building next door for 30 days. My hospital window didn’t offer nearly the same view. Feeling the wind on the rooftop and watching fireworks with my family—the kids in their firecracker PJs—was a real blessing. I’m thankful to be out of the hospital and prayed for those still inside that familiar building.
  • I was reminded of a quote I once heard: like a firework, God’s glory shines best against a background of darkness. This is especially true in suffering. Our trials create the black sky upon which God’s magnificence explodes with color.

God Answers Prayer

Updates:

  • I’m doing physical therapy three times a week and making progress each day. The goal is that by the end of June, I’ll be able to stand for an hour without getting winded. It’s amazing to realize just how deconditioned my body has become — even the simplest exercises are tough!
  • The doctors are optimistic that the transplant was successful. Despite this good news, I will need to receive more chemotherapy for the next six months. A new study shows this additional treatment might help patients with my condition stay in remission, and my doctor wants to pursue it. I’ll receive two rounds here in Houston and the rest back in Jacksonville.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • This week, I met with my main transplant doctor and oncologist. He said my bloodwork is “pristine” for where I should be in recovery — wonderful news!
  • My appetite is strong for one meal, mediocre for a second, and almost absent by dinner. Please pray for my appetite to fully return.
  • It will take months to rebuild my immune system. Please pray that I remain healthy and do not need to return to the hospital.

What I’m Learning:

  • Sometimes, I’m a slow learner. It has taken me months to realize that one of the primary ways God is using this suffering is to encourage others in prayer. Again and again, I’ve heard people say they’ve been praying for me — and then they’ve seen God answer their prayers. Most of the time, He goes above and beyond what we could ask or imagine.
  • God has answered so many prayers and showered us with blessings during this wild and crazy time. I know He’s done this for His glory, and I’m so thankful for your prayers for me and my family. I hope you are encouraged in your own prayer life — to ask God for bold things, not just for me, but for yourself and His kingdom.

And he said to them, “When you pray, say: ‘Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come.’” (Luke 11:2)


Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16)

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • Book recommendations can be risky. It’s easy to recommend something you love only for others to dislike it. Everyone enjoys different genres and writing styles — Charles Dickens’s style, for example, tends to generate polarizing opinions!
  • During my transplant journey, I set out with a sizable reading list. Unfortunately, my time in the ICU and hospital didn’t allow for as much reading as I hoped. Still, there’s one book I finished right before I got sepsis — and it was quite an unusual choice for me. Yet I was completely captivated.
  • In fact, I’d say it’s now in my top five favorite books of all time. It became a real companion while I was in and out of the ER and waiting for appointments. The chapters are short (2–3 pages each), and I found the content incredibly powerful.
    I’ll say no more except: give Theo of Golden by Allen Levi a try. If you enjoy it, let me know. If not — don’t judge me too hard — and maybe give A Tale of Two Cities a try instead!

Reflections on Ringing the Gong

Updates:

  • After 30 days in the hospital, I have been released! My blood counts are improving daily, and I’ve been placed on a lymphoma “Fast Track” recovery plan. Each day, I go to MDA for at least one appointment, and they are monitoring me closely.
  • I currently have no immunity, so my doctors have me on strict protocols to prevent any infection or virus. Unfortunately, our kids recently caught a cold, which means I won’t be able to see them for another week.
  • I will have another PET scan later this month to check on the status of my cancer. I will continue to receive regular PET scans over the next five years. The doctors won’t know whether the treatment was ultimately successful until we reach that five-year mark.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I’m incredibly thankful to the Lord that I’m an “early engrafter” and only had to stay in the hospital for 30 days. This is a true blessing and a surprise. I was told I would likely be a late engrafter for several reasons, but the Lord shocked us all!
  • I’m still re-learning simple tasks and currently walk with assistance. I attend physical therapy three times a week, and the main goal is to be walking without a walker by the end of June.
  • It will take months to rebuild my immune system. Please pray that I don’t get sick during this time, which would require a return to the hospital.

What I Am Learning:

  • I continue to learn the lesson of trusting God with all my heart (Proverbs 3:5–6). Ringing the gong on my way out of the hospital was a wonderful moment. I’ve been waiting since last August to ring some sort of cancer bell to signal the end of my treatment. The laughter and look on Jenny’s face when I rang the gong are priceless to me. I’m deeply thankful.
  • And yet, we still don’t know if the treatment worked. There’s no physical way to know right now—only time will tell. The doctors are optimistic but can’t offer guarantees. Even as we celebrate the completion of chemotherapy and my hospital discharge, there remains a deep opportunity to trust the Lord with the future. God has set it up this way, so I continue to depend on Him for complete healing. He’s not done stretching, shaping, and growing my faith through this trial.
  • I know the Lord has helped me every step of the way during this transplant process. But I must continue to trust Him with the years ahead and “lean not on my own understanding.” The journey of faith is not a one-time decision—it’s a lifelong pilgrimage to the celestial city.
  • While the doctors are optimistic and cannot guarantee total healing, Jesus promises that He will never leave me nor forsake me. The cross is my guarantee of that promise. Jesus died for my sins and rose again. Will He not also graciously give me everything I need? Will He not hold my future firmly, no matter what future PET scans may show?

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? … Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?”
— Romans 8:31–35

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”
— Proverbs 3:5–8


What Has Been Encouraging:

  • Fresh air! It’s good to be out of the hospital, even if I’m still weak. The Lord has humbled me through this process, and it’s easier now to see all the things I once took for granted. Going to lunch with a friend is a gift from the Lord. Being able to bend down and put on socks is a blessing. Attending a crowded event without fear of illness is a favor from God.
  • When we aren’t facing sickness or trials, it’s easy to feel independent from God and forget that our ability to eat, sleep, drink, and enjoy one another is a result of His kindness. Taking our health and “normal” life for granted is a subtle form of pride.
  • On a personal level, what can you enjoy today that you might normally overlook? What can you thank God for that you’ve forgotten comes from Him? When was the last time you asked for your “daily bread,” or do you just assume it will come?

“Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.”
— Luke 11:3–4

“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
— 1 Corinthians 10:31

“Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”
— James 1:16–17

Houston, We Have a Problem and Providence

Updates:

  • We have arrived in Houston!
  • I am currently hospitalized at MD Anderson due to unpredictable, severe allergic reactions. There are five different medications in my system that could be causing these episodes, and I am being closely monitored until further notice.
  • My next PET scan is scheduled for Monday, April 14th. It will show whether or not I am ready for transplant.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • I was surprised at the airport by dear friends from church who held up signs and cheered for our family as we departed for Houston. Meanwhile, other church members drove our vehicles to Texas, filled with our belongings. These are just two of the many ways God has used His church to make this trip possible and bless us. We are so thankful.
  • The allergic reactions I’m experiencing are growing in intensity and severity. Please pray that they cease. The doctors are perplexed and uncertain which medication is causing them—all five can cause such reactions in a small number of patients. I am stable under their care, but please pray for wisdom and clarity.
  • Next week is a pivotal one. It will determine the course of my treatment plan for the next few months. Please pray that the cancer in my lung is gone and that I’m ready for transplant.

What I Am Learning:

  • The night before our trip, I had a reaction that caused us to stay overnight on the campus of Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL. In God’s kindness, I was still able to travel the next day. We landed in Houston, but things took a more intense turn. Within five minutes of arriving at our rental property, I broke out in hives and blacked out. Jenny found me on the bathroom floor in a state of emergency. I was taken by ambulance to MD Anderson, where I am being monitored.
  • I’m confident that God wanted me to get to Houston, and I believe He protected me on the flight. I’m so thankful that I didn’t have an episode on the plane and arrived safely. The doctors here are incredible, and I’ve already seen several specialists during my weekend in the hospital. God’s providential hand has sustained me—even through this difficult experience. Praise the Lord!
  • Have you considered God’s hand of providence in your own life? In what ways has God shown you surprising kindness through the details of your journey? If you haven’t done so in a while, take a moment to reflect on the good God has provided. He cares for His children even in the midst of hardship. His providence brings Him glory and calls us to see our continued need for His help. What are the ways He has provided for you today?

“When God has written His name on you, suffering qualitatively changes. Pain, loss, and weakness are no longer the end of the world and the death of your hopes.”— David Powlison, God’s Grace in Your Suffering, p. 36

Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
Be their shepherd and carry them forever. (Psalm 28:9)

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • I can’t imagine this journey without the church. First Baptist has shown incredible kindness to my family and has made it possible for me to receive life-saving care.
  • We’ve received so many notes, cards, texts, and porch drop-offs that have blessed our whole family in the lead-up to this trip. For example, the plane ride with our kids was smooth and easy thanks to thoughtful gifts from church members that kept them occupied. The level of care and detail has been overwhelming in the best way.
  • While we already miss First Baptist and our home, we feel deeply loved. From our entire family: thank you—we are so grateful!

Houston, Here We Come

Updates:

• Jenny and I flew to Houston this week and met with the bone marrow transplant team at MD Anderson Cancer Center.
• The trip was clarifying and has determined the next few months of medical treatment for me. The doctors reiterated how aggressive my cancer is and emphasized the need for a high-intensity treatment plan. We will be making plans to travel to Texas when the time comes for me to get the transplant.
• I will proceed with another cycle of chemotherapy this upcoming week, and it is critical that it reduces the mass in my lung to prepare for the transplant.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

• Jenny and I are so thankful for the trip to Houston and the clarity it brought. I felt the Lord’s care in a tangible way, unlike anything I’ve experienced since my diagnosis. I still don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that God is with us.
• Please pray that this new round of chemotherapy is successful and that the mass is completely reduced. For the transplant to proceed, the mass must be eradicated.

What I Am Learning:


• The Bible tells us to pray when we are suffering and when we are sick:

“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.” (James 5:13)


• One reason to pray in times of suffering is that God hears and understands our groaning. Regardless of how we feel, God is interested in our pain. He cares about our troubles and wants us to seek Him for help. God heard the groaning of the people of Israel when they were in slavery. He had compassion on them and responded to their cries.

Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. (Psalm 5:1–3) 


• God heard David’s cries repeatedly throughout his life, as he fled from his enemies and hid in caves. God heard the groaning of Jesus on the cross and vindicated Him. It is good and right for us to pray with David, saying, “God, give me your ear.” “Lord, lean down close and listen to my plight.” “Jesus, please pay attention to the misery I’m experiencing. I need You.” No matter what trial you’re facing, “in the morning,” God will hear your voice. Watch and pray.

What Has Been Encouraging:

• The caring sovereignty of God has been encouraging. My story is different from the astronauts aboard the International Space Station, but the words of Butch Wilmore ring true for my circumstances. If you haven’t heard his explanation of trusting God even when bad things happen, you should watch the video below. He cites Hebrews 11, which recounts the faith-filled heroes of the Old Testament. Some of their stories have good endings… and some do not. Regardless, God was working powerfully in their lives. Be encouraged and take a few minutes to watch Heath Lambert explain the astronaut landing in “The Biggest Story of the Week.” You can watch it here.

[32] And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—[33] who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, [34] quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. [35] Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. [36] Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. [37] They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated—[38] of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. (Hebrews 11:32–38; note the shift from “good” outcomes to “bad” ones in verse 35)

Pouring Out Our Hearts

Updates:

  • This week, I began my new regimen of chemotherapy. The goal of this treatment is to bring me into remission, preparing me for a bone marrow transplant (also known as a stem cell transplant).
  • I will be on this new chemotherapy plan for the next six weeks, followed by a PET scan. The results of this scan will show my current status and determine whether I’m ready for the transplant.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray that this new chemotherapy is successful and that my mass is completely reduced.
  • Please pray for my family to have perseverance, as they are working extra hard to care for me.
  • New doctors are still analyzing my situation. Please pray that the Lord will give both them and us wisdom.

What I am Learning:

  • As we’ve spoken with several specialists, they’ve stressed the “aggressive” nature of my cancer. This explains why my annual physical in 2023 was perfect, yet within just one year, the cancer spread throughout my body. Jenny and I both recognize the hand of the Lord in my life, given these unexpected circumstances. The Lord has surprised us by allowing this cancer to progress so rapidly. It came fast, spread quickly, and has been stubborn. This situation serves as a reminder that we never know what the future holds—only the Lord knows. We must always walk with Him and draw near to Him when life’s trials come upon us. I have recorded a brief video explaining more of my thoughts on this, which you can watch below.

What Has Been Encouraging:

  • Since August, the Psalms have been a great source of life for me. I recently read a blog post about how the famous preacher Charles Spurgeon viewed prayer, based on Psalm 62:8: “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.”
  • I knew that prayer is about pouring out our hearts to God, but the way Spurgeon described this action struck me. He writes:

“Pour [your heart] out as water. Not as milk, whose color remains. Not as wine, whose savor remains. Not as honey, whose taste remains. But as water, of which, when it is poured out, nothing remains. So let sin be poured out of the heart, that no color of it may remain in external marks, no savor in our words, no taste in our affections.”

  • God already knows what is in our hearts, and He loves it when we pour it out completely before His throne. He wants us to bring all our fears, hopes, dreams, desires, and requests to Him. Don’t let anything remain in your heart. Pouring out water might seem “messy” to some, but the Lord loves it when we empty ourselves in faith before Him. Are you going through a trial? Pour out your heart to God like water, not like milk. Give it all to Him. If you want to read more about this passage, the blog is titled Praying Psalm 62 with Charles Spurgeon, and you can read it here.

Real-Time Deliverance

Updates: 

  • I have an enlarged lymph node in my lung that is difficult to diagnose.
  • Once my doctors can determine why my lymph node is behaving abnormally, they will be able to update my treatment plan. I need more testing to be done.  

Prayer Requests and Praises:

  • Please pray for the upcoming tests and their results. Pray that tests would be conducted quickly and would come back clear. 
  • Please pray for me that God would deliver me from all cancer and increase my faith in him. 

What I am Learning: 

  • I am learning two truths simultaneously. First, I am learning to pray (as the Psalms do) for real physical deliverance. Second, I am learning to trust God as my rock even when it feels like deliverance is far off or not coming. The Psalms articulate both important lessons repeatedly.
  • I have found myself praying for deliverance and learning to entrust myself to God, no matter what happens. These two realities might feel like they are in tension, but they are not in conflict. Notice how Psalm 31 captures both a real prayer for physical deliverance and a demonstration of trust in God’s sovereignty over our days. 

For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me; you take me out of the net they have hidden for me, (God saving in real time) for you are my refuge. Into your hand I commit my spirit; (David trusting God no matter what) you have redeemed me, O LORD, faithful God. (Psalm 31:3–5)

 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hand; (David trusting God’s sovereigntyrescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors! (David asking for real time deliverance) Make your face shine on your servant; save me in your steadfast love! (Psalm 31:14–16)

What Has Been Encouraging: 

  • Some of the testing has made me physically weak, but there are “good days” to be had even during weakness. It is important to seize every good day for the glory of God and not let the looming future (of tests and results) corrupt it. 
  • For example, there are good days in which I’m able to come into the office and participate in meetings like normal. It is also a good day when I’m able to go to the hospital and get a test done because I have no other underlying conditions which prevent me. Even though the test might be difficult, I am still able to do it! 
  • One great day this week was Jenny’s birthday. On the way home from work, I was able to stop by Publix and get her some flowers, balloons, and a cake. We celebrated and watched part of a movie together. What a great day to celebrate the best wife of all the times! Jenny is such a servant, and she serves our family with extraordinary excellence from Jesus. I’m so thankful Jesus saved her and let us get married!